Dead Man's Blues
by lizzydhamp1901
Summary: Dimitri's life is a mess: he's in love with the one girl he can't be with and the voices in his head have a life of their own. But when you could die any minute, is giving in to temptation so wrong? D's version of SK, 3rd fic in the LLR series.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It was the middle of the day and the Academy's campus was deserted, like in one of those movies where the main actor arrives at a ghost town. The only sound was that of the leaves blowing around in the harsh Montana wind and my steps as they crunched heavily on the gravel.

The sun was glaring down on the world, but I was freezing. No one was outside. I could think.

And I needed to. For one thing, the field experience began tomorrow, which meant I'd been planning attacks with the rest of the guardians for the past two weeks. Then, a week ago, I'd been told that Alberta and some other guardians were needed to testify at Victor Dashkov's trial. I honestly couldn't understand why the guy needed one, but maintaining protocol was, apparently, necessary. So I was leaving in a week and worst of all, I couldn't tell anyone (which was killing me, by the way), least of all Rose.

Who, as it happens, was standing smack in front of her dorm.

She was breaking the rules, but I was stillglad to see her, though God only knew what she was plotting in the middle of the "night". So, because she was Rose and I was Dimitri and we loved each other but couldn't be together and the sky was _blue_, I decided to approach using humor.

Alayah rolled her eyes. _Typical._

"Are you sleepwalking?" I asked, and not without good reason. Rose was only clad in blue pajama pants and a matching robe, her hair a huge tangle. She whirled around to face me and I could see the bags under her eyes that were making her look like the supermodel version of Frankenstein's wife.

"I was testing dorm security" She answered, running a tiny hand through the sexy bird's nest that was the top of her head "It sucks"

Ignoring the comment, I let my eyes rake over her and zoned in on the fact that she had drenched slippers on "You must be freezing. Do you want my coat?"

Rose shook her head, though I wouldn't have minded if she'd accepted, just so I could feed my obsession by smelling her on my coat every night before I went to bed.

Daemon stared. _Wow. You're the kind of creepy stalker that ends up on the news for stealing girls' panties, aren't you? I can't say I'm surprised, though, and that's the _really_ sad part._

"I'm fine. What are you doing out here? Are you testing security, too?" Rose asked, a tiny smile on her face.

I grinned "I _am_ security. This is my watch"

"Well, good work" She blushed "I'm glad I was able to help test your awesome skills. I should be going now"

"Rose –" I caught her arm and a shiver shot through me. Anxious, I dropped it "What are you _really _doing out here?"

"I had a bad dream. I wanted some air" She said, and I believed her.

"And so you just rushed out. Breaking the rules didn't even cross your mind – and neither did putting on a coat" I stated, as serious and teacher-y as I could manage to sound.

She shrugged, sheepish "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up"

"Rose, Rose. You never change. Always jumping in without thinking" I shook my head fondly - yes, I am _that_ whipped.

"That's not true" Rose replied "I've changed a lot"

I looked her over "You're right. You _have_ changed"

_And not all changes are good_. The words hung in the air between us.

At that, she was silent for a moment "Well, don't worry. My birthday's coming up. As soon as I'm eighteen, I'll be an adult, right? I'm _sure_ I'll wake up that morning and be all mature and stuff"

I smiled at her teasing "Yes, I'm sure. What is it, about a month?"

"Thirty-one days" Rose corrected.

"Not that you're counting" She shrugged again "I suppose you've made a birthday list too. Ten pages? Single-spaced? Ranked by order of priority?"

She started to speak but closed her mouth, then said quietly "No, no list"

"I can't believe you don't want anything" I plunged on "It's going to be a boring birthday"

"It doesn't matter" Rose announced uncomfortably, piquing my curiosity.

"What _do_ you –" Because I suddenly understood, I stopped. If I could have anything, _anything_, I'd ask for freedom, because that way I could have her and get a peaceful life at the same time. And because we were more similar than I was willing to admit, I knew that was what she would've chosen, too.

Uncomfortable, I changed the subject "You can deny it all you want, but I know you're freezing. Let's go inside. I'll take you in through the back"

Surprise showed in Rose's eyes for a second. I wasn't one to shy away from awkward conversations, but this was clearly not the time or place for one, and she nodded.

"I think _you_'re the one who's cold. Shouldn't you be all tough and stuff, since you're from Siberia?" She asked.

I chuckled "I don't think Siberia's exactly what you imagine"

"I imagine it as an arctic wasteland" Rose admitted.

I laughed at the idea "Then it's _definitely_ not what you imagine"

"Do you miss it?" Rose asked, her voice soft.

"All the time. Sometimes I wish –"

Suddenly my name was shouted from behind us. I immediately recognized Alberta's voice. "Shit" I muttered, shoving Rose around the corner "Stay out of sight"

I spoke as soon as Alberta came into sight "You're not on watch"

"No, but I needed to talk to you. It'll just take a minute" She said, giving me no chance to argue "We need to shuffle some of the watches while you're at the trial"

_Why does stuff like this always have to happen to me?_

_Because you're a star-crossed lover_. Alayah answered. _Things like this happen to them all the time. You'll see. It's just gonna get worse from here on._

_And here I always thought you were an optimistic ray of sunshine_. Daemon laughed.

"I figured" I said curtly, painfully aware of Rose's listening presence behind us "It's going to put a strain on everyone else – bad timing"

"Yes, well, the queen runs on her own schedule" Alberta sighed, exasperated "Celeste will take your watches, and she and Emil will divide up your training times. They say they don't mind the extra work, but I was wondering if you could even things out and take some of their shifts before you leave?"

"Absolutely" I nodded.

"Thanks. I think that'll help. I wish I knew how long this trial was going to be. I don't want to be away that long" Alberta looked far too stressed, and she sighed again "You'd think it'd be a done deal with Dashkov, but now I hear the queen's getting cold feet about imprisoning a major royal"

_Fuck my life._

My heart stopped – quite literally – and I could not even begin to imagine what the _Hell_ Rose was thinking from her place behind a bush. "I'm sure they'll do the right thing"

"I hope so. And I hope it'll only take a few days, like they claim" Alberta shivered and crossed her arms over her chest, her patience lost "Look, it's miserable out here. Would you mind coming into the office for a second to look at the schedule?"

"Sure. Let me check on something first"

"Alright. See you soon" I waited for her to leave and braced myself for the scene I knew was coming, turning the corner.

"Rose –"

"Dashkov?" She asked, her voice low and dangerous "As in _Victor Dashkov_?"

My shoulders slumped. This was gonna be bad "Yes. Victor Dashkov"

"And you guys were talking about… Do you mean... I thought he was locked up! Are you saying he hasn't been on trial yet?" Rose demanded, nearly hysterical with sudden understanding.

_This_ was why I hadn't wanted to tell her, because the world was unfair and she'd only begun to see a part of it, because she was too goddamn _young_ to have her innocence taken away like this.

And, well, also because I was pretty sure Rose was gonna kill someone by the time our talk was over.

_Dude, your life is so fucked up_. Daemon laughed. _Seriously. You have the worst luck in the world._

_Gee, thanks for all the support, here_. Alayah said on my behalf. _Come on. We're leaving._

_But –_ Daemon looked terribly disappointed.

_No buts. Out. Now_. Alayah gave me a little smile and shoved the door shut.

"He's been locked up—but no, no trial yet" I admitted, then decided pacifying Rose was vital "Legal proceedings sometimes take a long time"

"But there's going to be a trial now? And _you're_ going?" She pressed.

"Next week. They need me and some of the other guardians to testify about what happened to you and Lissa that night" I informed her.

"Call me crazy for asking this, but, um, are Lissa and I going with you?"

I took a deep breath "No"

"No?" Rose's voice was starting to get shrill with outrage.

"No"

Rose put her hands on her hips "Look, doesn't it seem reasonable that if you're going to talk about what happened to _us_, then you should have _us_ there?"

I shook my head "The queen and some of the other guardians thought it'd be best if you didn't go. There's enough evidence between the rest of us, and besides, criminal or not, he is—or was—one of the most powerful royals in the _world_. Those who know about this trial want to keep it quiet"

"So, what, you thought if you brought us, we'd tell everyone?" Rose exclaimed "Come on, comrade! You really think we'd do that? The only thing we want is to see Victor locked up. _Forever_. Maybe longer. And if there's a chance he might walk free, you _have_ to let us go"

Now, I personally agreed with her, but what she hadn't understood yet was that I had neither voice nor vote in this "It's not my decision to make"

"But you have influence" Rose protested "You could speak up for us, especially if… Especially if there really _is_ a chance he might get off. Is there? Is there _really_ a chance the queen could let him go?"

I sighed "I don't know. There's no telling what she or some of the other high-up royals will do sometimes" I grabbed my keys and tossed them to her "Look, I know you're upset, but we can't talk about it now. _I _have to go meet Alberta, and _you_ need to get inside. The square key will let you in the far side door. You know the one"

Rose nodded "Yeah. Thanks"

She turned, clearly still angry, and began walking away.

So I called after her "Rose?" She looked at me over her shoulder "I'm sorry… And you better bring the keys back tomorrow"

Not waiting to hear her answer, I began the long trudge back towards the guardians' offices, certain my life had just taken a turn for the worse.

* * *

**So, whaddaya guys think of the title and summary? And are you liking the way it's going so far? I'm updating on Sundays, now. If you're a new reader, welcome! Please read my story, Loving Little Rose, before you continue with this one.**

**I also wanna thank all my anonymous reviewers (like , Danielle Cave, Kate, kayla belikov, sorrowfilledangel, and ytrew, to name a few). I love your reviews, and I wish I could reply, but this is the only way I can think of of letting you know how much I appreciate them.**

**This review is from agony-fairy for chapter 16 and I thought it was hilarious enough to share: "I imagine it's like a condo in that part of his brain, a condo that Daemon built a chapel underneath and Alayah built a nightclub right next to, just to drive Daemon crazy"**

**So write your best in the reviews and I'll start putting my favs here in the ANs (but they all rock)**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters and plot are the author's, not mine. Well, except for Alayah and Daemon and THEIR side-story. No part of this may be reproduced without my permission. The dialogue may be the author's but most of the rest is mine, guys. No copyright infringement intended.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It was the first day of the field experience and I was already about to piss myself.

I wasn't worried about the fighting of course – I'd done this before, and with real Strigoi. No silly novice was gonna beat me, that I was sure about.

What I wasn't sure about, though, was that I was gonna be able to keep my job after today.

Because today Alberta would announce the pairings for the next six weeks.

And Rose was not with Lissa.

Now, I knew she'd listen to us once we gave her our reasons for pairing her with Ozera, but that didn't mean she wasn't gonna be angry as Hell. If it had been anything else – anything that didn't concern Lissa – I would've been sure she wouldn't make a scene. We'd come a long way since Rose had returned to the Academy, when I'd been terrified of her throwing a fit almost 24/7, but I knew her better, now.

Which was exactly why I knew this was something she was gonna fight for. All I could hope was that there would be no punching, and that Ozera's limbs would all be attached by the time the experience was finally over.

Suddenly, Alberta's voice rang throughout the gym, startling some of the novices "All right, you all know why you're here. This is the most important day of your education before you take your final trials. Today you will find out which Moroi you've been placed with. Last week, you were given a booklet with the full details of how the next six weeks will play out. I trust you've all read it by now. Just to recap, Guardian Alto will highlight the main rules of this exercise"

At that, Stan launched into a lengthy explanation about stuff everyone already fucking knew. These kids had been waiting for this day since they were four, and he seemed to delight in increasing the suspense.

I could just make out Rose sitting on the other side of the room, rolling her eyes.

Alberta held up her clipboard for attention "Okay. I'm going to call out your names one by one and announce who you're paired with. At that time, come down here to the floor, and Guardian Chase will give you a packet containing information about your Moroi's schedule, past, etcetera"

Alberta began reading the long list of names, and I could sense her hesitation before she spoke the most important one "Eddie Castile… Vasilisa Dragomir"

Rose frowned but waited patiently for her name to be called. "Rosemarie Hathaway… Christian Ozera"

Alberta looked around, not realizing Rose was glued to her seat, her eyes wide in horror. "Rose Hathaway?"

She stumbled down the aisle, grabbed her packet and practice stake and checked it. Three times, to be precise.

Damon was not paying attention. In fact, his eyes were all over Alayah's tank-top and shorts ensemble. _That is not appropriate attire_.

She rolled her eyes. _Ok, Dae, I know you're a wannabe priest, and all, but you really need to get laid. Go fuck a tree!_

He flushed. _That's it. We're done for. God's mercy does have limits… _Damon muttered, but you could tell he didn't believe it.

Alayah giggled. _D, focus! Pissed-off novice alert!_

I looked around. Hathaway lingered by the entrance while the novices drained out of the gym, the noise fading as Stan finally stopped reading names. Rose approached and I resisted the urge to duck for cover.

_Heaven help me keep my job. If she disrespects Alberta, I'm done for. Though her name is rather unfortunate…_

Rose began by taking it easy "What's this?"

I took a deep breath.

"It's your assignment, Miss Hathaway" Alberta answered, confused.

"No. It's not. This is somebody else's assignment" She dead-panned.

"The assignments in your field experience aren't optional, just as your assignments in the real world won't be. You can't pick who you protect based on whim and mood, not here and certainly not after graduation" The elder guardian sniffed.

"But after graduation, I'm going to be _Lissa's _guardian!" Rose protested "Everyone knows that. I'm supposed to have her for this thing"

"I know it's an accepted idea that you'll be together after graduation, but I do not recall any mandatory rulings that say you're 'supposed' to have her or anyone here at school. You take who you're assigned" Alberta's lips were a tight line. I swallowed back my comments.

"Christian?" Rose threw her packet on the floor "You're out of your _mind_ if you think I'm guarding him"

"Rose!" She flinched "You're out of line. You do not speak to your instructors like that"

She sighed "Sorry. But this is stupid. Nearly as stupid as not bringing us to Victor Dashkov's trial"

_I knew it. It was obvious. Damn fate to Hell. Rose is too predictable._

"How did you know—Never mind" Alberta shook off the shock "We'll deal with that later. For now, this is your assignment, and you need to do it"

Eddie Castile – who I hadn't noticed had been nearby all along – spoke up "Look… I don't mind… We can switch…"

"No, you certainly _cannot_. Vasilisa Dragomir is _your_ assignment. And Christian Ozera is _yours_" She told Rose "End of discussion"

Rose flushed "This is stupid! Why should I waste my time with Christian? _Lissa's _the one I'm going to be with when I graduate. Seems like if you want me to be able to do a good job, you should have me practice with her"

_What part of 'end of discussion' does your girlfriend not understand? _Alayah asked, smiling.

_She's not his girlfriend, thank God_. Daemon retorted. _Stop calling her that. We need _some_ dignity, at least._

_Hey! What's wrong with having a girlfriend? _

_Nothing._ He answered. _When sleeping with her would not be considered statutory rape_.

I frowned at that comment "You will do a good job with her because you _know_ her. And you have your bond. But somewhere, someday, you could end up with a different Moroi. You need to learn how to guard someone with whom you have absolutely no experience"

Rose rolled her eyes "I have experience with Christian. That's the problem. I hate him"

_No. You think he's annoying. You may even wanna dump him down a clogged drainpipe – or off a cliff – sometimes, but you do not hate him. _That_ is an exaggeration._

But Alberta didn't really know Rose all that well, and so she didn't get her meaning "So much the better. Not everyone you protect will be your friend. Not everyone you protect will be someone you like. You _need_ to learn this"

"I need to learn how to fight Strigoi" Hathaway cried, exasperated "I've learned that in class. _And _I've done it in person"

Alberta almost rolled her eyes "There's more to this job than the technicalities, Miss Hathaway. There's a whole personal aspect—a bedside manner, if you will—that we don't touch on much in class. We teach you how to deal with the Strigoi. You need to learn how to deal with the Moroi yourselves. And _you_ in particular need to deal with someone who has not been your best friend for years"

I broke in before a sound could leave Rose's throat. Inspiration had struck "You also need to learn what it's like to work with someone when you can't instantly sense that they're in danger"

"Right" Alberta nodded, relieved "That's a handicap. If you want to be a good guardian—if you want to be an _excellent _guardian— then you need to do as we say"

"Working with another Moroi will also help keep Lissa alive" I said. Rose gaped.

_I know you far too well to let you win this argument, darling._

"What do you mean?" She asked, frowning.

"Lissa's got a handicap too—you. If she never has a chance to learn what it's like to be guarded by someone without a psychic connection, she could be at greater risk if attacked. Guarding someone is really a two-person relationship. This assignment for your field experience is as much for her as for you" I was spouting anything my brain could conjure up now, and for a moment I was _so_ grateful Karo had given me lying lessons when she was eighteen and leaving.

"_And_ it's the only assignment you're going to get" Alberta dead-panned "If you don't take it, then you opt out of the field experience"

Rose's eyes blazed and she opened her mouth to speak. I shot her a look. _Do _not_ screw this up. Take what you can and get the fuck out of here _now_._

She picked up the packet "Fine. I'll do this. _But_ I want it noted that I'm doing this against my will"

_You are just incapable of taking defeat and gracefully bowing out, aren't you? Jesus. _

_Could we refrain from taking the Lord's name in vain for a minute, here?_ Daemon asked irritably.

_You are such a bothersome Catholic. I hope they're not all as fanatic as you._ Alayah grumbled. _And here I always dreamt of a guy that was actually religious. Such innocence. I had no idea what I was wishing for…_

"I think we already figured that out, Miss Hathaway" Alberta said.

"Whatever. I still think it's a horrible idea, and you eventually will too" Rose's bitch side had apparently reared its head and was stalking across the room before anyone could add another comment.

Alberta turned to me "You know, Belikov, I think I'm only now realizing how much of a saint you are. How can you _stand_ that? _Every day_?"

I shrugged "She's not always like that. In fact, Rose is a pretty nice kid. She must be having a God-awful day"

"That is no excuse and you _know_ it" Alberta replied.

"With most people? Yeah, it probably wouldn't be" I admitted "But _Rose's _bad days… well, let's just say they're above average"

"Everything about her seems to be" The guardian agreed. "Well, I'll catch you later. I still have some stuff to do. Why don't you just go take the rest of the day off? You _really_ need more breaks"

I nodded and obediently sauntered out into the snow, taking my time to enjoy the feel of the crisp air whipping at my face. I missed Siberia more than anyone could imagine, and I missed my girls even more. I'd never considered that before I left, and it was a bit ridiculous – I was too goddamned dangerous to be missing my Mommy.

I reached my room in silence as Alayah and Daemon chattered on, lost in their little world. I plopped down onto the bed, lost in memories of what had been a simpler, happier time.

* * *

**Wow. Ok, who's read SB? IT WAS SO GOOD! I don't want the reviews to be spoilers for those who haven't, but feel free to email me with what you thought! I need to discuss the book with SOMEONE or I'll go even crazier, and none of my friends have read it yet.**

**As you can see, I'm UD early this week, since I didn't last Saturday. Whatevs. I'll try to have the next chappie up by Sunday to make it up to you.**

**I'm also gonna try to start doing this more quickly - I'm DYING to get to SB! While I was reading it, I kept getting so many ideas... Sigh. Oh, well, we'll just have to wait for it.**

**REVIEWS make me happier than you can guess. **

**And thanks to everyone anonymous (Danielle Cave, who brought a friend over, Helen Heinz)... yeah. And so many others, like museatseventeen, CATMOL, Twilight Diaries, agony-fairy, xoJaymexo, Caricature Intimacy, ScarlettRoza, DeltoraChick05, MUSICBABY777 who actually gave the fuck-a-tree quote, ruthless527, A.R13, PrincessofLad'n,PennyPie, DestineeRoseBelikov, november21, littleevileve, Abbi-Rose, mishcabe, , EllaBella, naturallyclutzy, Alanna-Banana1987, Mrs. DimitriBelikov287, Nina76, Mnemosinne, zozo42, RainInTheSun, KeepSmilingItMakesPeopleWonder and TONS of others that I may have not written down but will never forget!**


	3. Chapter 3

I stood next to Rose in the middle of the woods. Sunshine streamed through the trees, dancing across her face eerily.

"It's a gorgeous day, isn't it?" She said, though she'd never been the biggest fan of small-talk. I nodded. It was true. Flowers were sprinkled across the ground, littering it with every bright color imaginable. "Hey, Comrade. Why so quiet?"

"I'm… I guess I'm just happy" I admitted, feeling the greatest amount of peace I had in a while. Rose took my hand and smiled.

"So am I"

"Rosie" The nickname slipped out "You know we can't –"

Adrian burst into sight, his hair a sweaty mess. "They're coming for her. They'll kill her" He panted "Run!"

I heard the sounds of heavy footsteps behind us, quick as a drumbeat. With Rose's hand still in mine, I broke into a run, practically dragging her along. My heart pounding in my chest, I tried to listen. They were closer, closer... we'd never out-run them. I pushed Rose against a tree.

"Don't worry" I begged "I won't let anything happen to you"

She nodded as the Guardians came into view, an army of death. They began approaching and I fought, harder than I ever had, but they pounded me to a pulp and began taking her away.

_No, please. No. Don't leave me. Don't go. I need you. My Rosie. Please._

"Rose!" I struggled to move and found I couldn't. Desperation began clouding my mind "Rose! Rosemarie, I love you! I love you!"

I woke up with her disappointed eyes still boring into mine.

_Well, I'll be damned_. Alayah drawled. _You sure know how to have the most fucked-up dreams, don't you, D?_

_That was so messed up. You're messed up. Why do I have to be stuck in your mind? Couldn't I get a normal guy?_ Daemon whined.

_Oh, shut up._ I grumbled_. I'm not in the mood_.

Standing, I rubbed my eyes and stretched. My heart was still pounding more than was reasonable, and since I'd only meant to take a nap before the beginning of the tests, I decided to wash the dream away with boiling-hot water.

My presence wasn't needed until two o' clock, so I'd let myself sleep for a minute – not that it'd done me much good. I got dressed and checked my watch. I still had an hour.

I strolled across the mostly-dark campus, lost in my thoughts until someone called out.

"Hey, Belikov!"

"Emil" I greeted him, a smile on my face "How's it going?"

If I had to pick a co-worker to spend the day locked up in an empty room with, he would've been my choice. A nice, quiet man, I'd never even had an argument with Emil – which was more than I could say about _some_ people (cough-Hank-cough).

"Pretty good" He answered, falling into step beside me "Hey, do you have any idea where Shane Reyes is? I'm assigned to be his worst nightmare today"

"No, but I'm sure you'll find him in time to hand Alberta his ass on a platter before lunch" I joked.

"Don't be so sure" He muttered "The kid's actually pretty good. Figures. I get the feeling he's gonna make me go black and blue"

I shrugged. "Hey, isn't that him?"

We were in the hallway by now, and I spotted Ryan Aylesworth – my own assignment – just as Emil attacked poor Shane. The fight began to get interesting, and Ryan whooped and clapped his hands. Suddenly, another Guardian named Giovanni swooped down on him. I shrugged – we'd probably gotten the same kid – and grabbed Ryan's charge, Camille Conta.

The girl shrieked. A blow to the side of my head made me turn to face Eddie Castile. I released my Moroi and began sparring until Shane dispatched Emil and joined the fight. Ryan, trying to sneak up on me, got his neck snapped and was quickly done with, but between the two others they managed to back me into the lockers and get me staked.

"Good job, kid" Emil told Shane "Your reaction time was fast"

"And you did well, too" I praised Eddie "This is a group thing. It's not just one-on-one fighting"

Giovanni sighed "You should be paying more attention to your Moroi, Ryan. If this had happened in the real world…"

He sighed "I know, I know. Sorry"

Emil nodded at Rose, who'd been ready to protect Lissa and Christian throughout the fight, and she and Eddie high-fived as we left.

I shook my head_. Typical_.

At least the fight was over, and I wasn't scheduled for another one until the next day, so I was in my room when Alberta called me "Belikov? We have a problem"

_Oh, shit._

"What is it?" I asked.

"Stan Alto's throwing a fit because he says he attacked Rose five minutes ago. She was with the Ozera kid and another Moroi" She sighed.

"And?"

"And apparently, Rose just stood there and let him have them" Alberta answered "Stan's calling for a disciplinary committee"

"_Christ_" I gaped. This was unexpected "But… Rose would never do anything like that on purpose. She knows how serious this is"

"Well, he certainly doesn't believe that. Look, just come here immediately. Or sooner" The dial tone spurred me into action and I ran over to one of the meeting rooms. Celeste, Emil and Alberta were already there, sitting at a table. The latter motioned for me to sit down with some other guardians that had come to watch the show – mainly Hank and Gunther. Stan arrived seconds afterwards and sat beside me, Rose trailing behind him.

"This is not what it looks like" She said before anyone could speak, sitting down on a chair, looking minuscule "I swear"

"Just tell us what happened, Miss Hathaway" Alberta ordered.

"I was walking with Christian and Brandon towards the dorms. We were just talking when Stan came out of nowhere and attacked. I don't see what the problem is"

"The problem is that you wouldn't protect the Moroi with you" Emil stated.

Rose blushed "For the last time, _I didn't do it on purpose_"

_Yeah, good luck getting them to believe that_. Alayah muttered.

"Miss Hathaway, you must know why we have a hard time believing that" Alberta said, skeptical.

Celeste agreed "Guardian Alto saw you. You refused to protect two Moroi—including the one whose protection you were specifically assigned to"

"I didn't refuse!" Rose cried "I… fumbled"

Daemon scoffed. Not _likely. You've trained her well, Dimitri._

"That wasn't a fumble. May I?" Stan asked. Alberta nodded "If you'd blocked or attacked me and then messed up, that would be a fumble. But you didn't block. You didn't attack. You didn't even _try_. You just stood there like a statue and did nothing"

Rose sighed "Why am I getting in trouble for messing up? I mean, I saw _Ryan_ mess up earlier. He didn't get in trouble. Isn't that the point of this whole exercise? Practice? If we were perfect, you'd already have unleashed us upon the world!"

"Weren't you listening?" Stan demanded "You didn't mess up, because 'messing up' implies that you have to actually _do_ something"

"Okay, then. I froze. Does _that_ count as messing up? I cracked under the pressure and blanked out. It turns out I wasn't prepared. The moment came, and I panicked. It happens to novices all the time" Rose shot back defiantly.

"To a novice who has already killed Strigoi? It seems unlikely" Emil said. Suddenly I didn't like him that much anymore.

Rose glared "Oh, I see. After one incident, I'm now expected to be an expert Strigoi killer? I can't panic or be afraid or anything? Makes sense. Thanks, guys. Fair. Real fair"

_Wow. She's good at this._

"We're arguing semantics. Technicalities aren't the point here. What's important is that this morning, you made it very clear you did not want to guard Christian Ozera. In fact… I think you even said you wanted us to be sure we knew that you were doing it against your will and that we'd soon see what a horrible idea it was" Alberta accused "And then, when your first test comes around, we find you completely and utterly unresponsive"

Hathaway was suitably horrified "_That's_ what this is about? You think I didn't protect him because of some kind of weird revenge thing?"

I blinked at the stupidity of the whole thing.

"You aren't exactly known for calmly and gracefully accepting things you don't like" Alberta remarked.

At that, Rose shot up "Not true. I have followed _every_ rule Kirova laid down for me since coming back here. I've gone to e_very _practice and obeyed _every_ curfew. There's no reason I'd do this as some kind of revenge! What good would it do? Sta – Guardian Alto wasn't going to really hurt Christian, so it's not like I'd get to see him punched or anything. The only thing I would accomplish is getting dragged into the middle of something like this and possibly facing removal from the field experience"

Celeste said "You _are_ facing removal from the field experience"

"Oh" She squeaked, sitting back down.

I stood. Time to intervene "She has a point. If she were going to protest or take revenge, she'd do it in a different way"

"Yes" Celeste admitted "But after the scene she made this morning…"

_I knew that was gonna come back and bite us in the ass._

_Don't curse_. Daemon sighed. _It's vulgar, and it doesn't help matters any._

_It does too._ Alayah huffed. _It lets out steam. Fucked up dipshit. Idiotic bastard. Son of a bitch._

Daemon gaped.

_See?_ Alayah smiled. _I feel so much better now._

I walked over to Rose "This is all circumstantial. Regardless of how suspicious you _think_ it looks, there's no proof. Removing her from the experience – and essentially ruining her graduation – is a bit extreme without any certainties"

That did the trick. Alberta and the others whispered for a moment, and she nodded thoughtfully before straightening back up "Miss Hathaway, do you have anything you'd like to say before we tell you our conclusions?"

I gulped. _God? Hi. I know we haven't talked in a while, but… please don't let Rose ruin this. She has a knack for that kind of thing_.

"No, Guardian Petrov" I nearly fell in relief at the sound of Rose's deceivingly obedient-sounding voice "Nothing more to add"

"All right. Here's what we've decided. You're lucky you have Guardian Belikov to advocate for you, or this decision might have been different" I almost beamed at Alberta's words, but thankfully my poker face remained on "We're giving you the benefit of the doubt. You'll go on with the field experience and continue to guard Mr. Ozera. You'll just be on a probation of sorts"

_So what else is new?_ Daemon rolled his eyes.

_Oh my God!_ Alayah exclaimed. _How did you get so bitter anyway?_

"That's okay. Thank you" Rose answered.

"And because the suspicion isn't entirely removed, you'll be spending your day off this week doing community service" Alberta added.

I nodded, but Rose shot up again. "What?"

I put my hand on her wrist and whispered "Sit down. Take what you can get"

_Don't do anything stupid_, I nearly added, but I figured that wouldn't help much – Rose always did stupid things – so I merely pulled her towards her chair.

Celeste looked bored "If that's a problem, we can make it next week too. And the next five after that"

Rose sat down "I'm sorry. Thank you"

Stan stalked out of the room, Hank and Gunther close behind him. Celeste and Emil vanished soon after, but Alberta remained long enough to tell Rose to go find Christian.

"I'd like to talk to her, if you don't mind" I interrupted. The blonde nodded and left, her eyes seeming to ask me what the Hell I was thinking.

I headed over to the refreshments table, my throat suddenly parched "You want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure" Rose answered from behind me. It took me a minute to have two cups ready, and for a moment I remembered my Mother doing this same thing to me when she wanted to talk. Who would've known I'd steal her best idea?

_Oh, I'm sure she'd sue you for the copyright if she knew._ Daemon rolled his eyes from his place on the couch next to Alayah, who only smiled and shook her head at him.

"Doubling it is the secret" I said, just like she always had, so many years ago.

I handed Rose her cup and led her outside "Where are we – oh"

The words trailed off, unnecessary. The little courtyard before us was covered in ice, making a pretty picture separated from us by glass. Though we were technically still inside, there wasn't heating here – and a little cold was perfect for the chocolate.

We sat, still not speaking, and I took a sip from my cup. Rose blew on hers, studying me over her drink.

"What happened out there? You didn't crack under the pressure" I stated.

"Of course I did. Unless you believe I really did let Stan 'attack' Christian" Rose answered, looking down.

"No, I don't believe that. I never did. I knew you'd be unhappy when you found out about the assignments, but I never once doubted that you'd do what you'd have to for this" I assured her "I knew you wouldn't let your personal feelings get in the way of your duty"

"I didn't. I was mad… Still am a little. But once I said I'd do it, I meant it. And after spending some time with him… well, I don't hate him. I actually think he's good for Lissa, and he cares about her, so I can't get upset about that" She admitted "He and I just dash sometimes, that's all… but we did really well together against the Strigoi. I remembered that while I was with him today, and arguing against this assignment just seemed stupid. So I decided to do the best job I could"

"What happened then? With Stan?" I prompted.

Rose was avoiding my eyes "I don't know what happened out there. My intentions were good… I just… I just messed up"

I sighed because something in the way she said that bothered me "Rose. You're a terrible liar"

She glanced at me "No, I'm not. I've told a lot of good lies in my life. People have believed them"

_And she's proud of that_. Daemon put his head in his hands. _Hopeless_.

_Well, you have to admit it's a useful quality_. Alayah replied.

I smiled, just a little "I'm sure. But it doesn't work with me. For one thing, you won't look me in the eye. As for the other… I don't know. I can just tell"

Rose walked over to the door, carefully keeping her back to me "Look, I appreciate you being worried about me… but really, it's ok"

I stood, but she still went on.

"I just messed up. I'm embarrassed about it –" That last part was true, at least "and sorry I put your awesome training to shame – but I'll rebound. Next time, Stan's ass is mine"

Her voice quavered a little, and I placed a hand on her shoulder "Rose, I don't know why you're lying, but I know you wouldn't do it without a good reason. And if there's something wrong – something you're afraid to tell the others –"

Rose spun around, eyes shining "_I'm not afraid!_ I do have my reasons, and believe me, what happened with Stan was nothing. Really. All of this is just something stupid that got blown out of proportion"

I tried to speak, but she silenced me.

"Don't feel sorry for me or feel like you have to do anything. What happened sucks" She admitted "But I'll just roll with it and take the black mark. I'll take care of everything"

I frowned.

"I'll take care of _me_" Rose promised, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

_But I _want _to take care of you! I want to hug you and tell you that it's gonna turn out ok in the end, and that if it doesn't, I'll _make_ it ok. I'm here. _I _can take care of you… why won't you let me?_

"You don't have to do this alone" The words rang empty in my own ears and Rose smiled ruefully.

"You say that… but tell me the truth. Do _you _go running to others when you have problems?" She demanded, already knowing the answer.

"That's the not the same –"

Rose couldn't resist interrupting "Answer the question, Comrade"

"Don't call me that" I snapped.

"And don't avoid the question either" She snapped right back.

"No" I answered finally "I try to deal with my problems on my own"

Rose took a step away from me "See?"

_All I see is the two of you being idiotic and not realizing it!_ Alayah cried.

_Let them be._ Daemon soothed. _They'll work it out. They always do._

I shook my head "But you have a lot of people in your life you can trust, people who care about you. That changes things"

Rose looked properly horrified "You don't have people who _care_ about you?"

"Well, I've always had good people in my life… and there have been people who cared about me" I replied, thinking not only of my family but my two best friends, Alexei and Sergey "But that doesn't necessarily mean I could trust them or tell them everything"

She blushed "Do you trust _me_?"

_Well, I did say I loved you, didn't I? Now, I'm the first to admit that it was a corny, unbelievably stupid move, but hey, it took trust. Tons of it. So there._

I discarded the inappropriateness of the question in a moment "Yes"

She nodded "Then trust me now and don't worry about me just this once"

Rose promptly slipped away and left me there. I sat on the nearest chair. I _did_ trust her implicitly, but I also _knew_ her, and Rose was not only reckless but amazingly self-confident… and stubborn. Then again, the number one reason I loved Rose Hathaway was that she was impossibly strong.

I shrugged. _Speaking of reasons I love Rose Hathaway, I should probably make a list..._

* * *

**This chapter is for Mr. Random 17. His eloquent review (paired with many others) got my lazy ass fingers moving so this'd be up early. BTW, Mr. R, are you a guy? You sound like one =)**

**See, guys? I DO listen when you ask for quicker updates. And I DO read reviews - every single one, though I can't always reply.**

**Lissie**

**PS. I LOVE YOU!**


	4. Chapter 4

I spent the rest of the week taking on one or two seniors a day. And yeah, by the end of it I hurt all over, but it was actually pretty fun. As a guardian, sometimes life became rather boring – at least it did at the Academy – and this was a nice, welcome, painful change.

Though I was busy, I had plenty of leftover time spent reading in my room. My very own Paradise. Until, of course, Alayah began to get frustrated.

_Ok, D, you know I love you and all, but what are you, a fucking social recluse? Just because you have nothing to do right now doesn't mean we all have to stay here cooped up like hermits! _

_You forget one thing: I like being a hermit_. I answered. _And, you know, seeing as this is my body and all…_

_Well. And here I thought you had good manners – for a stalker, and all_. Daemon snapped, taking Alayah's side.

_Clearly, we are being affected by a case of Cabin Fever_. She said daintily. _Let's go do something fun. Reading's boring._

_No. Reading about _cowboys_ is boring._ Daemon amended.

_Ok, ok, stop_. I ordered. _Why don't we compromise? I'll go outside – _but _I get to write my Rose list._

_Your Rose list? What the _Hell_?_ Alayah gaped.

_Since when do you even _have_ a Rose list?_ Daemon scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. _It's a list of the things I love about Rose. I haven't even started it yet._

_Oh, that's good. You're finally accepting your feelings for her._ Alayah nodded, pleased in a psychologist-like way. She jotted down something in a notepad. _That's really good. We're making progress._

Daemon was speechless.

_Do we have a deal or not?_ I demanded. Both the voices nodded.

Satisfied, I grabbed the first scrap of paper I found and bounced downstairs, willing to brave the cold. I really _was_ spending too much time inside – fresh air would be rather nice.

I strolled for a while and finally sat down on my favorite bench. It was in a lonely, deserted spot, and therefore perfect for quiet contemplation. Alayah and Daemon discussed the weather in hushed tones as I took out a pen.

_Reasons why I love Rosemarie Hathaway (in no particular order)_

_She's the bravest person I know_

_Everything she does is passionate._

_Her laugh._

_Her hair._

My phone beeped, and it took everything in me not to fall off the metal bench from the surprise. I pulled the offending device out of my pocket – and promptly frowned. It was Sunday, time for the service, and though it didn't bore me, I would've much rather continue being a romantic pussy for a while longer.

I sighed, and, sure that I would sprout a vagina if I kept thinking like a pansy much longer, I began to make my way towards the chapel, shoving my stuff into my jeans.

I'd been the one to tell Father Andrew he'd have two 'volunteers' this week, and he'd kindly told me that he'd been wanting to clean the attic for a long time, and an extra pair of hands would be welcome. So I figured, why not help out a little? Quality time with Rose was, after all, a rare occurrence, since practices were purely business…

The place was nearly full when I arrived, but my bench at the back was thankfully unoccupied. The Homily was just beginning as I walked in.

"The Scriptures reveal that the one God is Three Persons – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – eternally sharing the one divine nature. We cannot understand the Divine Trinity, but we must accept it as one of the mysteries that have been revealed to us… " The pastor's soft voice lulled me into memories. This topic was frequently mentioned back home, and I had once asked my mother to explain.

I could just remember the way she'd looked down at me and said "Let me tell you a story, Dimka. Once upon a time, there was a saint who had the same questions you do"

"Really?" I'd interrupted from her lap "He didn't understand it?"

"He didn't" My mother agreed solemnly "The poor man spent all his time thinking about the Trinity, sitting in front of the sea, digging a hole in the sand with his finger. And then one day, guess who appeared?"

I grinned "Willy Wonka?"

The man had been my current obsession. My Mother had laughed "No, baby Jesus did. And he asked the saint what he was doing, and the man told him. So baby Jesus went 'Well, does the sea fit in that little hole you just dug?' And the saint said…"

"No!" I answered "That's a silly question"

"Ah, but the saint told baby Jesus the same thing. And baby Jesus said, 'If the sea can't fit into that little hole, how do you pretend to fit the mystery of the Trinity into your little head?' And the saint understood"

I was lost "What did he understand, Momma?"

She smiled "That he didn't need to understand anything. All he needed to do was believe"

At the moment, the answer had been enough for me. Some days, it still was, but other times – well, faith took blind trust. I didn't know if I still had it in me to believe what the Church said without question.

The service ended soon afterwards, and I waited until the place was empty to look for Rose.

She frowned as soon as she spotted me "What are you doing here?"

I probably should've been offended, but I was whipped. So I just shrugged "Thought you might need some help. I hear the priest wants to do a lot of housecleaning"

"Yeah, but you're not the one being punished here. And this is your day off too. We – well, everyone else – spent the whole week battling it out, but you guys were the ones picking the fights the whole time" Rose stated.

"What else would I do today?" I asked, immediately regretting it.

_Way to go, Einstein. I mean, she likes you, but that doesn't mean you have to broadcast the fact that you're a social leper!_ Alayah chided.

_Hey! I already said I regretted it, ok? Back off_. I retorted, annoyed.

"I could think of a hundred other things" Was that an innuendo, or is my mind just plain dirty? I added to the list.

_The jokes. Need I explain?_

_Dude, you're in God's presence_. Daemon went.

_No shit. Thanks for pointing that one out_. I know, I know. I was short on patience that day.

_Whatever. Just… show some respect._ The monk said.

"There's probably a John Wayne movie on somewhere that you haven't seen" Rose continued.

I considered it, then shook my head "No, there isn't. I've seen them all. Look – the priest is waiting for us"

_Smart move – changing the subject before you look more like a dork_. Alayah praised. Kind of. Ok, so maybe it wasn't exactly a compliment, but I like looking at the world through my pretty pink glasses.

"Thank you both for volunteering to help me" The priest said. Rose cocked an eyebrow. Me? I smiled like a good little boy "We aren't doing anything particularly complex today. It's a bit boring, really. We'll have to do the regular cleaning, of course, and then I'd like to sort the boxes of old supplies I have sitting up in the attic"

"We're happy to do whatever you need" I answered, as Rose didn't seem too inclined towards conversation.

"Very well, then" Father Andrew left for a moment and returned with a mop and a rag "You can be in charge of mopping, Rose. As for you, Guardian Belikov, I think wiping the pews should be enough to keep you busy"

I nodded and got to work, letting my mind wander.

_What would the guys think if they saw me now?_ I wondered. _Alexei, Felix, Sergey… _

_They'd never shut up about it. _Daemon assured me_. In fact, I think it would be entertaining_.

Alayah frowned. _Well, I think you're sweet, Dimka. If Hannah had asked you to do this with her, you'd have thrown her out the window. Rose… she kinda has you wrapped around her finger. You absolutely adore her._

_She loves you too, you know. This isn't a one-way thing._ Daemon admitted. _Which is cool, because that means you're both psychologically disturbed. Maybe you'll end up in the same asylum._

_Gee, that's comforting_. I snapped.

Daemon shrugged and Alayah whispered something in his ear. He flushed an original shade of beet red and promptly led her to his room for some privacy – whether they did it so I could be alone or because they didn't want me listening in, I didn't know.

The cleaning was over quickly, though, and I turned to Father Andrew for further instructions.

"Excellent job, really wonderful" He praised "Now, if you'll follow me, there's some stuff in the attic that I'd like you to carry to the storeroom"

It took us six trips and about twenty minutes. Finally, we were sweaty – and apparently through with the hard labor, as the priest instructed us to sit down in a circle and sort through papers.

"So, Rose, how's the math going?" Father Andrew asked, rather out of the blue.

She grimaced "Ugh. I hate it… and the fact that I'm this close to failing doesn't help"

He cocked an eyebrow "Really? I was good in math – really good. It was my favorite subject, now that I think of it" Rose looked at him like he'd just sprouted a second head. "What do you need help with?"

"Everything! Venn diagrams – which aren't even math, anyway – oh, and the general formula" She frowned "I can't memorize it"

On and on it went. I couldn't believe the priest knew Rose was terrible at math and I didn't. How many more things didn't I know about her?

_You know the important stuff._ Alayah soothed. What she believes in, her passions… the rest isn't important.

_You're kidding, right? Everything's important!_ I answered. _I wanna know the details – the way she eats her eggs, her favorite candy, what she thinks about the movies she's seen. I wanna know her the way Lissa knows her… great. Now I feel like some kind of transsexual. Your presence here is clearly affecting me._

_Oh, you do not get to pin this one on me. It's your own fault for falling in love with her_. Alayah snapped.

_It's a perfectly normal reaction._ Daemon agreed. _It happens to every guy. As long as you don't start saying it out loud, I wouldn't worry._

Before I could answer that, Rose broke the awkward silence that had fallen over us while I was lost in thought.

"Hey, do you believe in ghosts?"

_What. The. Hell?_

"I mean, is there any mention of them in this stuff?" She asked Father Andrew.

He smiled a little "Well, it depends on how you define ghost, I suppose"

_That's it. They've both officially gone over the deep end._

_I've always wondered what the Church's posture was on this. _Daemon mused.

As if my mind wasn't wacky enough to begin with, it turned out I now had a wannabe-ghost-whisperer stuck in it.

"The whole point of this is that when you die, you go to heaven or hell" Only Rose could sum up a whole religion in a sentence "That makes ghosts just stories, right? They're not in the Bible or anything"

"Again, it depends on your definition. Our faith has always held that after death, the spirit separates from the body and may indeed linger in this world"

Father Andrew's words hit me like a brick wall, and I think Rose felt the same, because she dropped the large wooden bowl she held.

"_What_?" She squeaked "For how long? Forever?"

_I can't believe she believes this. Hell, I can't believe the whole Church believes this._

"No, no, of course not. That flies in the face of the resurrection and salvation, which form the cornerstone of our beliefs" For a moment, I relaxed. Stupid Dimitri Belikov, always the optimist "But it's believed the soul can stay on earth for three to forty days after death. It eventually receives a 'temporary' judgment that sends it on from this world to heaven or hell—although no one will truly experience either until the actual Judgment Day, when the soul and body are reunited to live out eternity as one"

"Yeah, but is it true or not? Are spirits really walking the earth for forty days after death?" Rose pushed.

"Ah, Rose. Those who have to ask if faith is true are opening up a discussion they may not be ready for" Father Andrew said enigmatically, smiling.

"But if it helps you, some of these ideas parallel folk beliefs from Eastern Europe about ghosts that existed before the spread of Christianity. Those traditions have long upheld the idea of spirits staying around for a short time after death – particularly if the person in question died young or violently" He went on.

Rose blanched, and for a moment I thought she might faint. Eyes wide as saucers, she shivered.

_I don't get it. What's up with the ghost stories? What could she possibly be… _

"Why?" She whispered "Why would they stay? Is it… is it for revenge?"

Then I got it. Young and violently. Mason. Was Rose really superstitious enough to believe there was a chance he might be so upset he'd try to hurt her? Even if ghosts existed – which they didn't – Mason would never touch a hair on Rose's head. He was crazy about her.

"I'm sure there are some who believe that, just as some believe it's because the soul has trouble finding peace after something so unsettling" Father Andrew replied.

Rose was firm "What do _you_ believe?"

"I believe the soul separates from the body, just as our fathers teach us" He answered "But I doubt the soul's time on earth is anything the living can perceive. It's not like in the movies, with ghosts haunting buildings, or coming to visit those they knew. I envision these spirits as more of an energy existing around us, something beyond our perception as they wait to move on and find peace. Ultimately, what matters is what happens beyond this earth when we attain the life our savior bought for us with his eternal sacrifice. That's what's important"

Rose was quiet after that impromptu speech.

"I just got some new books in from a friend in another parish" The priest continued, not-so-subtly changing the uncomfortable subject "Interesting stories about St. Vladimir. Are you still interested in him and Anna?"

"Yeah" Rose lied "I'm interested… but I don't think I can get to it anytime soon. I'm kind of busy with all this… you know, field experience and stuff"

We were done with the sorting not long afterwards, and Father Andrew told us all we had to do now was take four boxes to the elementary campus.

Unfortunately, they were too many boxes to make it in one trip, but we still piled up eagerly. When we were finally out of the chapel, I pounced.

"Why are you interested in ghosts?"

"Just making conversation" Rose answered.

"I can't see your face right now" I admitted "But I have a feeling you're lying again"

"Jeez, everyone thinks the worst of me lately" She said brightly "Stan accused me of glory-seeking"

"I heard about that" I told her, because I really had, and boy I had been pissed.

"What?" I'd yelled at Hank "How _dare_ he? My own student… glory-seeking… the bastard!"

"Dude, don't shoot the messenger" He had begged, staring at my fingers on his shirt.

"I'll kill him. He has something against her, I know it. Why else would he insist on giving her bad marks for everything?"

"That might have been a little unfair of him" I said to Rose meekly.

"A little, huh? Well, thanks, but I'm starting to lose faith in this field experience" She answered bitterly "Sometimes in the whole Academy"

I shook my head forcefully; though she couldn't see it "You don't mean that"

"I don't know" Rose sighed "The school just seems so caught up in rules and policies that don't have anything to do with real life. I saw what was out there, Comrade. I went right to the monster's lair. In some ways… I don't know if this really prepares us"

_Wow._ Alayah breathed. _She's… you're… I mean…_

_Christ_. Daemon frowned. _How can two people think the exact same thing?_

_That's it. You're soulmates!_ She squealed.

My eyebrows flew up at that one. I highly doubt it. We're not in a musical, A.

"Sometimes I agree" I found myself saying.

Rose faltered, incredulous "Really?"

"Really" I assured her "I mean, I don't agree that novices should be put out in the world when they're ten or anything, but sometimes I've thought the field experience should actually be _in_ the field. I probably learned more in my first year as a guardian than I did in all my years of training. Well… maybe not all. But it's a different situation, absolutely"

We smiled at each other.

Rose looked around "Oh. We're in the middle school dorm. The younger kids are next door"

I was wondering when she'd notice "Yes, but Ms. Davis lives in this building. Let me try to find her and see where she wants these. I'll be right back"

It took me a bit longer than I'd expected – those dorms were a maze – but I finally reached Ms. Davis' room and knocked.

"Yes?" A red-headed Moroi peeked out.

"Hello. Ms. Davis?" She nodded "I'm Guardian Belikov. Father Andrew sent me with some boxes of supplies for you. I was wondering where you would like them"

She gave me directions to a classroom, thanked me profusely, and sent me on my merry way. I had a nice sense of orientation, but getting back to Rose still wasn't easy.

I walked up to find her talking to a curly-haired Moroi girl.

"Hey" She said "I have someone who wants to meet you. Dimitri, this is Jill. Jill, Dimitri"

The kid blushed furiously, but we shook hands anyway. "I – I – uh. Bye"

I turned to Rose "Well. That was… bizarre"

"Jill knew who I was. She had kind of a hero-worship thing going on" She explained.

"Does that surprise you? That younger students would look up to you?" I asked.

"I don't know. I just never thought about it" She shrugged "I don't think I'm that good of a role model"

"I disagree. You're outgoing, dedicated, and excel at everything you do" I praised "You've earned more respect than you think"

"And yet not enough to go to Victor's trial, apparently" Rose spat, bitter.

I groaned "Not this again"

"Yes, this again!" Her voice was high-pitched "Why don't you get how major this is? Victor's a huge threat"

"I know he is"

_We all know he's the spawn of the devil_. Alayah agreed.

"And if he gets loose, he'll just start in on his crazy plans again" Rose went on.

"It's really unlikely he will get loose, you know" I informed her "Most of those rumors about the queen letting him off are just that – rumors. You of all people should know not to believe everything you hear"

"You should still let us go. Or you should at least let Lissa go"

_Well, knock me down with baloney_ "You're right. She should be there, but again, it's nothing I can do anything about. You keep thinking I can control this, but I can't"

_Act all you want, her faith in you is helping your self-esteem and you know it_. Daemon laughed.

_You go, girl_. Alayah mocked.

"But did you do everything you could?" She pressed "You have a lot of influence. There must be something. Anything"

"Not as much influence as you think" I corrected "I've got a high position here at the Academy, but in the rest of the guardian world, I'm still pretty young. And yes, I _did_ actually speak up for you"

"Maybe you should have spoken up louder" I began to flush, and Rose promptly changed tactics "Victor knows about us. He could say something"

"Victor has bigger things to worry about with this trial than us" At least I hoped so.

"Yeah, but you know him. He doesn't exactly act like a normal person would. If he feels like he's lost all hope of getting off, he might decide to bust us just for the sake of revenge" She pointed.

_The way she thinks so like him is creepy_. Alayah shuddered.

_But she's right_. "Then we'll have to deal with that as best we can. But if Victor's going to tell, he's going to do it whether or not you testify"

That was the end of it. As soon as we got back to the chapel, we found Father Andrew on the floor.

"You know, I've thought about it and I don't this the stuff in this box is really necessary" He frowned "So all you've got left is the one by the corner. Thank you very much for helping me"

Rose lifted the box up on her hip "No problem"

I made a move to take it away from her and she shook her head "I'll do it. You don't have to come"

…_shit. Someone's pissed_. "Rose, please don't make a big deal out of this"

"It _is_ a big deal!" She whispered "And you don't seem to get it"

"I _do_ get it. Do you really think I want to see Victor loose? Do you think I want us all at risk again?" I demanded, furious "But I told you, I've done all I can do. I'm not like _you_ – I can't keep making a scene when things don't go my way"

The comment was harsher than I'd meant for it to be, and I wished I could take it back as soon as I spat it out, but Rose was already speaking.

"I do not"

_No_. Alayah's sarcasm was so thick, it might've been amusing under other circumstances.

_Never ever_. Daemon agreed.

I felt it would be wise to point something out "You're doing it right now"

"Why did you even help me today? Why are you here?" Rose asked.

I froze "Is that so strange?"

"Yes" She answered "I mean, are you are you trying to spy on me? Figure out why I messed up? Make sure I don't get into any trouble?"

"Why does there have to be some ulterior motive?" I evaded.

Rose looked stumped for a second "Because everyone has motives"

"Yes. But not always the motives you think" I differentiated "I'll see you later"

As soon as I was out of sight, I whirled around and punched a wall. I know, I know. It wasn't particularly mature of me… but it sure as Hell helped get the anger out.

_Why is it so hard to believe that maybe I just enjoy spending time with her? I mean, what's wrong with being a little lonely once in a while? Does she… maybe she just doesn't feel this way anymore_. I seriously considered it for a second and felt my stomach drop into my shoes. _Well. So much the better for her, I guess. That ought to save her some heartache._

Hank chose that particular moment to appear in front of me, panting. "What are you doing? You wouldn't answer my calls! You're supposed to be telling the Princess"

"Lissa? Telling her what?" I asked impatiently.

"Oh. You haven't checked you phone, have you?" He grinned.

I took it out of my pocket to see a text from Alberta.

_The Princess, Rose, Christian Ozera and Eddie Castile are coming to the trial. We leave tomorrow. Pack._

Hank thumped me in the back "Isn't this awesome?"

"How did this happen? What made them change their minds?" I wondered.

"No idea, but they say Adrian Ivashkov spent thirty minutes in Kirova's office yesterday" Hank shrugged "Who cares? This is still great"

If Ivashkov had had a hand in bringing it about, then no, it really wasn't.

* * *

**Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long (finals! ugh) but I made it extra large to make up for it. The next update... will probably take a while. A girl's gotta study, you know.**

**Thanks to Erika H. I can't reply to your comments because you don't have an account, but your reviews really brightened my day =)**

**REVIEWS make me sooooooooooooooooooooo happy! (hint, hint)**


	5. Chapter 5

I stood by the jet stationed in the Academy's landing strip, freezing my pretty ass off, when Rose and her posse arrived.

_Did you seriously just use the word 'posse?'_ Daemon asked.

_Shut the fuck up or my tape will make you_. I threatened.

_Ok, you testosterone-headed idiots, we all need to relax for a second and take deep breaths_. Alayah ordered. _So what if Ivashkov managed this and you couldn't? They're going to the trial – that's the important part! We're going to Court to get Dashkov locked up, not so you can impress your girl._

I knew she was right of course, but I couldn't help but feel that I had really let Rose down this time. And, because God really seems to enjoy making me suffer, she almost skipped over to me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" She said, repentant.

My face was studiously blank "Sorry for what?"

"For all the horrible things I said yesterday. You did it – you really did it! You got them to let us go" Her face glowed.

"It wasn't me, Rose" I was surprised that it hurt to admit it "I had nothing to do with it"

I turned away and followed some of the guys inside the jet, rubbing my hands together for friction.

Few people know this, but I don't like flying. It's not the height – though God knows I'm afraid of those, too – and it's not that I think we'll suddenly fall to our deaths for no reason. Statistically speaking, cars crash far more frequently than planes, and I _know _that. But when we're on the air, I can't help feeling useless, like I can't control what happens to me. Because if the pilot dies of a heart attack or whatever, I wouldn't be able to do anything except close my eyes and pray for a quick death. And I _hate_ that.

I set my stuff down on the back of the plane, glad I would have a row of seats to myself. Reading was my preferred activity during flights – it did a great job of taking me somewhere else, and no one would bother me while I was doing so.

Well, except for a certain flight attendant.

"Oh, wow. You like Louis L'Amour?" She gushed, referring to the author of the book I was reading "He's the best writer ever! I love his stories so much!"

I gave the blonde a small smile "Yeah, he's pretty good"

"So few guys like him, though" She blatantly checked me out "You must be really sensitive"

"Uh…" I struggled to keep a straight face "I guess?"

Daemon laughed. _Wow. Good luck getting rid of her, kiddo. She seems persistent._

Alayah merely rolled her eyes. _Be nice_.

"So have you read the next one? I hear it's really awesome, but I haven't been able to find it anywhere! Do you have it? Where did you buy it? At Borders? Because I don't think they're selling the series there, my sister…" At that she stopped, blushing "Oh, I'm babbling, aren't I? Sorry, I talk way too much when I'm nervous"

"Really, it's ok" I lied.

"It's my first day, and I really don't want to screw it up, but I guess I'm kind of doing that right now, huh?" Her laugh was a fake "Anyway, I'll let you get back to your reading, sir. Sorry for disturbing you. Enjoy the flight!"

_Well, that was bizarre, wasn't it?_

_Tell me about it._ Alayah said. _My head's still spinning_.

Barely an hour after what will hereafter be referred to as "the incident," chaos broke out. It was bound to.

"Adrian! Will you shut the hell up for five seconds?" Rose shrieked.

_Here we go_.

Alberta and I were standing in the blink of an eye.

"Rose!" She chastised "What's going on?"

"I have the worst fucking headache in the world and he won't shut up" I glared at Ivashkov as Rose hid her head in her hands and moaned "God, why won't it go _away_?"

"She hasn't eaten today" Ozera broke in "She was really hungry earlier"

"Can you get her something to eat? And find a painkiller?" Alberta said to the wide-eyed flight attendant.

"Where's it at? The pain?" I demanded.

"It's a headache, I'm sure it'll go away…" I gave Rose my best teacher look and she gulped "It's like something pushing on my skull, and there's pain kind of behind my eyes"

_Why couldn't we have a normal, drama-less flight?_ Daemon asked.

_Because Rose is on it_. Alayah snapped. _Get used to it_.

"I keep feeling like… well, it's like I've got something in my eye. I think I'm seeing a shadow or something, then I blink – and it's gone" Rose finished.

"Ah, that's a migraine symptom" Alberta nodded "Having vision problems. It's called an aura. People sometimes get it before the headache sets in"

"An aura?" Rose repeated.

"Not that kind. Same name. Like Court and court" Ivashkov interrupted "Migraine auras are images and light you see when a migraine's coming on. They have nothing to do with the auras around people I see. But I tell you… the aura I can see… the one around you… wow"

_Seriously? Adrian mother-fucker Ivashkov can read auras?_ I blinked. _Shit. God has a sense of humor. We're screwed._

"Black?" Rose guessed.

"And then some" He confirmed "It's obvious even after all the drinks I've had. Never seen anything like it"

That couldn't be good, especially since it was something they had clearly deemed important enough to discuss earlier. Yeva occasionally claimed that she could see auras, so I knew what they were – but she had never _ever _mentioned a black one.

So was that terrible, or just rare? Maybe the bond was causing it. Did it have to be fixed? Should we be worried? It could have something to do with the migraine – Adrian had said it was darker than usual. And speaking of bastards, maybe he knew something that could be useful, for a change. Like how to make Rose normal again, or at least as normal as she ever was, which admittedly wasn't much. But still.

The blonde prattler arrived with the necessary food and medicine and I wandered off. Suddenly sitting so far away from Rose didn't seem so smart, though, and I picked up my stuff and transferred somewhere closer to civilization.

We finally arrived at Pennsylvania three hundred pages later. Honestly, who hosted a royal court in such a dead place? We were literally in the middle of nowhere.

James Brava was there to usher us off the jet and into the dreary weather. I'd met him once during a trip Ivan and I had gone on to Holbox, Mexico, the last one we'd made before he died. Ivan had loved nature – scenery, animals, even the bugs. Ivan wanted to see the whale shark, and despite the fact that I'd been incredibly paranoid about the possible dangers, we'd ended up plunging into the warm turquoise sea with four other people and an instructor.

I chuckled at the memory. I'd seen the goddamn thing, which was dining-room sized, and freaked out. Who wouldn't have, if they'd seen that humongous mouth looming towards them? So I'd pulled Ivan up and almost walked on water in my effort to get us away from the bugger, only to have him shake me off and promptly push us both back in.

James – who had been there with his own charge three times before – had laughed and told me it was normal, but neither he nor Ivan had let me live it down.

"Hey there, Belikov" Brava grinned "You look weird when you're dry"

"Shut up" I told him with a soft punch. And though remembering Ivan had hurt, I smiled.

"I – uh, I heard about what happened, man –"

I broke in before the conversation became even more awkward "Yeah. It's ok. Let's just not talk about it"

James was cool like that – he dropped the topic instantly and began blabbing about how awesome life at Court was "Oh, and this is where you'll be staying. Really awesome place – you even get your own rooms!"

"What? But… I have to stay close to Lissa! She's my assignment" Eddie Castile protested, a little fanatically.

_Uh, overeager, much?_ Alayah was in bitch mode. _If I were Christian, I'd be jealous._

_If you were Christian, you'd always be jealous_. Daemon sighed. _The kid's got issues_.

"You don't have to worry about that, not here. There's an excessive amount of security" I assured him "Enjoy it while you can"

We all parted ways not too long after, but when I look back on that day, I wish I'd enjoyed Court while I could.

Things were about to get really ugly, really soon.

* * *

**Ooh. Too bad you guys know the story already or this cliffie would've been MEAN.**

**I know, I know, this took a while. But hey, it's not my fault life has been spiraling out of control lately. I mean, first finals - which I totally aced, btw - and then Mexico was playing in the world cup and we actually beat France at soccer! I hope my French readers weren't too upset =)**

**Oh, and Ari Cullen B. wants to translate this to Portuguese, which is terribly flatering, but, girl! Allow PMs so we can discuss this properly!**

**Anyway, new reviewers like Basic-bookworm, Lilysmum and Karaoke-kitten, to name a few, make me VERY happy. But so do old reviewers, so drop by and criticize!**


	6. Chapter 6

With its famous gardens, gaming rooms and jacuzzis, the Court was the perfect place to relax. Alberta had given us the day off until the trial tomorrow, and I was definitely not gonna waste what precious time I had.

James was the one to lead me to my room. It was nothing fancy – a simple table with two chairs, a couch, a bed and a dresser. Really, a TV was all I needed.

"So, Belikov, a bunch of us are getting together tonight. Why don't you come, get a couple of drinks?" James leaned against the wall.

"Uh, sure. Thanks, man." I answered, ignoring Daemon's protests about becoming an alcoholic. Like my mom always said, I needed to start going out more often. Doing my best to become one with my bed was gonna get me nowhere.

"Awesome. I'll come get you at ten – can't let you get lost, can I?" I grinned as James shut the door behind him. Yes. A night out with other guys was just what I needed.

_You need to stop taking everything so seriously._ Alayah was telling a sulky Daemon. _What's wrong with drinking a beer or two? It's not like he's planning to get drunk or anything. Besides, I'm sure God agrees that leaving our room every once in a while might actually be good for our mental health_.

Daemon sighed. _Tell me something, Alayah. How is it that whenever we argue, you always end up reasoning the bejeezus out of me?_

She smiled.

I kicked my suitcase out of the way and fell onto the bed. I grabbed the remote control from the nightstand and turned the TV on.

The Grey's Anatomy logo was the last thing I saw before falling asleep.

I woke up to someone pounding on the door. Frowning, I looked at the clock. It was only five. What the Hell could James want?

"What?" I glowered at the wall. No one was freaking there, and believe me, an empty hallway could not have made such a large amount of noise.

Someone cleared their throat. I looked down. Rose.

"Oh. 're short." I blurted.

Daemon burst out laughing. Alayah groaned. _Sleep doesn't exactly help your eloquence, does it?_

"Yeah, I hadn't noticed." Rose smiled a little. "Look, are you gonna let me in or not?"

I hesitated. As everyone knows, only something really awful – like a freaking lust charm – could make Rose come knocking for me. But, hey, you gotta have faith, right?

"I have to talk to you." She insisted.

Actually, maybe another lust charm-induced activity wouldn't be so bad.

I stepped back and she handed me a note as soon as I closed the door.

_Rose,_

_I was so happy to hear about your arrival. _

_I'm sure it'll make tomorrow's proceedings _

_that much more entertaining. I've been _

_curious for quite some time about how _

_Vasilisa is doing, and your romantic _

_escapades are always quite an amusing _

_diversion. I can't wait to share them in _

_the courtroom tomorrow._

_Best,_

_V.D._

"V.D –" Rose began.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit_. "Yeah, I know. Victor Dashkov."

"What are we gonna do? I mean, we talked about this, but now he really is saying he's gonna sell us out."

I thought about it. Victor had clearly been trying to bait us into paying him a visit, and the guy might've been behind bars, but he was a fucking genius. Maybe…

"Give me a moment." I told Rose, taking my cell phone out of my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Sergey. It's Dimitri Belikov."

"Dimka! What's up?" The sound of my old friend speaking Russian brings a wave of homesickness with it. I push it away.

"Remember that favor you owe me?"

_Jeez. Way to be polite, D_. Alayah chastised.

_Now is not a time for politeness_. I answered.

_Desperate times call for desperate measures_. Daemon agreed. _Besides, it's Sergey. We've seen him naked. There's trust there._

"Yes." Sergey is immediately wary – as well he should be. Some of our most outrageous adventures have begun with that question.

"Good, cause I need you to find someone who can sneak me in to see Victor Dashkov."

I hear a door slam, and then a hushed "Are you out of your mind?"

"No."

"How the Hell am I supposed to do that? Do you have any idea how much security they have for that guy?" Sergey whispered.

"Look, he just sent me a note, man. A freaking _note_. To threaten me." I explain. "How is it that the most dangerous Moroi criminal can get a message to me and I can't even go talk to him about it?"

He sighs. "This better be important."

"It is."

"Alright. I'll see what I can do."

We snapped our phones shut at the same time.

"What's going on?" Rose asked.

"I'll let you know soon." I promised. "For now, we have to wait."

"Great. My favorite thing to do." Rose dead-panned as I dragged over a chair to sit in front of her.

I watched as she looked over the book I'd been rereading on the plane and thrown on the couch.

"Why do you _read_ these?" She asked, like she couldn't even begin to imagine a world where reading was not a chore.

"Some people read books for _fun_." I teased.

"Hey, watch the dig." She answered. "And I do read books. I read them to solve mysteries that threaten my best friend's life and sanity. I don't think reading this cowboy stuff is saving the world like I do."

I took the book and began fiddling with it myself as I thought of my answer. "Like any book, it's an escape. And there's something… mm, I don't know. Something appealing about the Old West. No rules. Everyone just lives by their own code. You don't have to be tied down by others' ideas of right and wrong in order to bring justice."

Alayah grinned. _You like them because you could be with Rose if there weren't any rules._

Daemon cocked an eyebrow. _You do?_

_I liked cowboy novels before I even _knew_ Rose!_ I protested.

_Yeah. You also didn't read them obsessively like you do now_. Alayah pointed. _Hey, it's ok. I think it's sweet_.

Rose snaps me back to reality. "Wait. I thought _I_ was the one who wanted to break rules."

"I didn't say I _wanted_ to." _Though I kinda do, actually_. "Just that I can see the appeal."

_You _have_ seen the appeal. Remember the lust charm?_ Daemon waggled his eyebrows. Very _appealing_.

Alayah and I both went into shock. She, of course, recovered first, smacking him.

_Wow. Someone's loosening up, huh?_ I asked. Daemon shrugged.

Rose snapped me back to reality. "You can't fool _me_, comrade. You wanna put on a cowboy hat and keep lawless bank robbers in line."

"No time." I snorted "I have enough trouble keeping _you_ in line."

Rose's grin was so big, her nose crinkled.

So, because I had to ruin the moment, I blurted, "I'm sorry."

"For what? Reading cheesy novels?"

"For not being able to get you here." I elaborated.

_Uh, D, she kind of needs more information than that to understand the workings of your twisted mind_. Daemon prodded.

Alayah sighed. _Ignore the psycho. Just tell her how you feel._

I took a deep breath. "I feel like I let you down."

Rose blinked. Then she shook her head. "You didn't. I acted… like a total brat. You've never let me down before. You didn't let me down with this."

_Say something! Anything!_

I opened my mouth. The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Ok, it's done. Franco Mastriano is expecting you. Just ask for him and he'll let you in." Sergey hissed.

"Dude, you have no idea –"

"I know. And this was worth _two_ favors, so _you_ owe _me_, now." He went on.

"Of course. Thanks, Serge."

"Yeah. Whatever." The dial tone met my ears. Even as a little kid, my friend had never been too talkative – apparently no amount of time had changed that.

I stood and grabbed a coat. "Alright. Let's go."

Rose followed suit. "Where?"

"To see Victor Dashkov."

At that, Rose only bit her lip. I led her into the Court's holding cells, where a paranoid, young-looking Franco waited.

"Guardian Mastriano?"

"Shut up and get inside before someone hears you." He muttered, leading us down a hallway. "I could get in big trouble for doing this."

"You won't." I promised. The dark-haired man shook his head but remained silent.

"Why are we doing this?" I leaned in to hear Rose whisper. At some point during our walk, her arm had snaked into mine. "You think we can talk him out of it?"

I shook my head. "If Victor wanted to take revenge on us, he'd just do it without any warning. He doesn't do things without a reason. The fact that he told you first means he wants something, and now we're going to find out what it is."

_You really think he has ulterior motives? He could be just messing with you_. Alayah said uneasily.

_Though he doesn't exactly seem like the typical jokester_. Daemon added.

_Honestly? I have absolutely no idea._

Victor smiled as soon as he saw us. "Oh, my, this _is_ a treat. Lovely Rosemarie, practically an adult now. Of course, some have been treating you that way for quite some time."

I repressed a shudder. _How can someone be so politely insulting?_

_Ah, yes_. Alayah nodded. _The subtle art of backstabbing. Both women and royalty are excellent at it, you know._

"Stop screwing with us, you son of a bitch." Rose hissed, getting closer to the bars. "What do you want?"

_Not exactly subtle_. Daemon pointed.

_Yes, well. Some of us are better at it than others, of course_. Alayah admitted. _Take Tasha, for example. She was, like, the master_.

I grabbed Rose by the shoulder and drew her back. If Victor was playing polite, so were we. "Easy, Rose."

"After all this time, your cub still hasn't learned any control." Victor's laugh crawled up my spine. "But then, maybe you never really wanted her to."

_If the idiot keeps baiting me, he's gonna find out about _my_ fucking control_.

I kept my face impassive. "We aren't here to banter. You wanted to lure Rose over, and now we need to know why."

"Does there _have_ to be some sinister reason?" He asked, like we'd snuck in here for a damn tea party. "I just wanted to know how she was doing, and something tells me we aren't going to have a chance for friendly chats tomorrow."

"We're not going to have a friendly chat _now_." Rose spat.

Victor turned serious. "You think I'm joking, but I'm not. I really _do_ want to know how you're doing. You've always been a fascinating subject to me, Rosemarie. The only shadow-kissed person we know of."

_What the Hell does he think she is?_ Daemon glowered. _A bug?_

_Fascinating subject my ass_. Alayah agreed. _This guy has issues. _Serious_ issues_.

_No kidding._

"I told you before, that isn't the kind of thing you walk away from unscathed." Victor continued. "There's no way you can quietly sink into the regimented routine of academic life. People like you aren't meant to blend in."

Well, he was right about that, at least. Fading into a crowd was not exactly what Rose did best, but whether it was because of her looks or her passion about her opinions I hadn't yet determined. Maybe it was a little of both.

"I'm not some kind of science experiment." Rose said disdainfully – she clearly had a thing against science.

Victor cocked his head and ignored her. "What's it like? What have you noticed?"

"There's no time for this." I warned. "If you don't get to the point soon, we're going to leave"

Rose smiled coldly. "There's no way they'll let you off tomorrow. I hope you enjoy prison. I bet it'll be great once you get sick again – and you will, you know."

"All things die, Rose. Well, except for you, I suppose. Or maybe you are dead. I don't know. Those who visit the world of the dead can never fully shake their connection to it."

At that, Rose began to speak – then stopped.

Victor smiled. "Yes? There's something you'd like to say?"

"What is the world of the dead?" She asked hurriedly. "Is it Heaven or Hell?"

"Neither."

Daemon muttered something about pagan superstitions. Alayah laughed. _Don't take life so seriously, Dae, no one gets out alive anyway._

"What lives there? Ghosts? Will I go back? Do things come out of it?" Rose demanded.

"Well," Victor smirked. "Clearly things come _out _of it, since you stand here before us."

I gave an exasperated sigh. The conversation had taken a turn towards the ridiculous. "He's baiting you. Let it go."

Dashkov glared at me, then corrected self-righteously, "I'm _helping_ her. Honestly? I don't know that much about it."

_Clearly_. Daemon sniffed.

"You're the one who has been there, Rose. Not me. Not yet." Victor pointed. "Someday, _you_'ll probably be the one educating _me_. I'm sure the more you deal death out, the closer you'll become to it."

_The more you deal death out…_ "Enough. We're going."

"Wait, wait." Victor began. "You haven't told me about Vasilisa."

Rose flushed. "Stay _away_ from her! She doesn't have anything to do with this!"

"Seeing as I'm locked away in here, I have no choice but to stay away from her, my dear." He answered snarkily. "And you're wrong. Vasilisa has everything to do with everything."

_Wow. Who does he think she is – God? 'Vasilisa has everything to do with everything.' Puh-leez_. Alayah mocked.

_Don't laugh at the mad genius, Al_. Daemon frowned. _He'll be the one to bury us all. You'll see._

"That's it!" Rose exclaimed, in the tone of voice one might use to yell Eureka. "_That_'s why you sent the note. You wanted me here because you wanted to know about her, and you knew there was no way she'd come. You had nothing to blackmail her with."

"Blackmail's an ugly word."

Rose dismissed Victor's opinion on the English language with a wave of her hand. "There's no way you're going to see her – at least outside of the courtroom. She's never going to heal you. I told you: You're going to get sick, and you're going to die. You're going to be the one sending me postcards from the other side."

"You think that's what this is about? You think my needs are that _petty_? You've forgotten everything, why I did what I did. You've been so caught up in your own shortsightedness that you've missed the big picture I was looking at." Victor said.

I rolled my eyes. Yes, the man's ideas for a revolution were great – I was the first to admit that. He would have been a wonderful king. But his beloved 'big picture' was nothing but crazed imaginings anymore. How was he going to talk the people into revolting from jail?

"You wanted to stage a revolution – still want to." Rose amended. "That's crazy. It's not going to happen."

Victor shook his head at us like me couldn't be expected to know any better. "It's _already_ happening. Do you think I don't know what's going on in the world? I still have contacts. People can be bought off – how do you think I was able to send you that message?"

Alayah shuddered. Daemon absentmindedly put an arm around her.

"I know about the unrest – I know about Natasha Ozera's movement to get Moroi to fight with guardians." He continued. "You stand by her and vilify me, Rosemarie, but I pushed for the very same thing last fall. Yet, somehow, you don't seem to regard her in the same way."

"Tasha Ozera I working on her cause a bit differently than you did." I informed him.

"And _that_'s why she's getting nowhere." Victor nodded emphatically. "Tatiana and her council are being held back by centuries of archaic traditions! So long as that sort of power rules us, nothing will change."

_He's right, you know_. Alayah said suddenly. _If he hadn't had to hurt Lissa to live, we would be supporting him._

_He's a psycho!_ Daemon reminded her.

_Not really. He's got radical ideas, sure, but what he's saying is true. Think about it._

"We will never learn to fight. Non-royal Moroi will never have a voice. Dhampirs like you will continually be sent out to battle."

"It's what we dedicate our lives to." I interrupted.

"And it's what you lose your lives for. You're all but enslaved and you don't even realize it! And for what?" Victor demanded. "Why do you protect us?"

"Because… we need you. For our race to survive" Rose answered.

"You don't need to throw yourselves into battle for that." He spat. "Making children isn't really that difficult."

"And because the Moroi…" Rose continued. "The Moroi and their magic are important. They can do amazing things."

"We used to do amazing things!" Victor corrected. "Humans used to revere us as gods, but over time, we grew lazy. The advent of technology made our magic more and more obsolete. Now, all we do is parlor tricks."

"If you have so many ideas, then do something useful in prison and write a manifesto." I suggested.

_What, like Luther?_ Daemon asked.

Alayah frowned. _Wasn't that one a manifest?_

He sighed. _No, that's the verb – here, look it up…_

"And why has this got to do with Lissa anyway?" Rose tacked on.

"Because Vasilisa is a vehicle for change." Victor said, gesturing grandly.

Rose paraphrased. "You think she's going to lead your revolution?"

"Well, I prefer that I lead it – someday. But, regardless, I think that she's going to be a part of it. I've heard about her too. She's a rising star – still young, certainly, but people are taking notice. All royals aren't created equal, you know." We knew. "The Dragomir symbol is a dragon, the king of the beasts."

_I thought that was the lion_. Alayah broke in.

_I know!_ Daemon agreed. _See what I mean? There's something just not right about this guy. I always did think he was kinda loopy…_

"Likewise, the Dragomir blood has always been powerful – that's why Strigoi have targeted them so consistently. A Dragomir returning to power is no small thing – particularly one such as her." Victor continued his tirade. He obviously didn't get too many people to talk to. "My impression from the report was that she must have mastered her magic. If that's so – with her gift – there's no telling what she could do. People are drawn to her with almost no effort on her part. And when she actually tries to influence them – well, they'll do anything she wants."

Looking at the man's ecstatic face, one could almost believe he belonged in an asylum.

"UBELIEVABLE." Rose choked (and yes, she did say it in all caps). "First you wanted to hide her away to keep you alive. Now you actually want her out in the world to use her compulsion for your own psycho plans."

_Wow. She's eloquent, isn't she_. Daemon said.

_To a fault_. Alayah answered, though it wasn't a question.

"I told you, she's a force for change. And, like you being shadow-kissed, she's the only one of her kind that we know about." _Ooh, someone doesn't have as much information as he'd like us to think…_ "That makes her dangerous – and very valuable."

"Lissa will never do it. She's not going to abuse her powers." Rose told him fiercely.

"And Victor's not going to say anything about us." I added, deciding the end of this "conversation" had better get here soon, and not caring if he heard me. "He's achieved his goal. He brought you here because he wanted to know about Lissa."

Rose gloated. "He didn't find out much."

"You'd be surprised." He retorted, smug. "And what makes you so certain I won't enlighten the world about your romantic indiscretions?"

"Because it won't get you out of prison." I began. "And if you ruin Rose you'll destroy whatever weak chance you had of Lissa helping you with your warped fantasy."

_Warped fantasy. I like that._ Daemon grinned.

_Wait, who's ruining Rose?_ Alayah asked. _There will be no ruining, whether the idiot talks or not. Right? Right?_

"And it'll all be pointless anyway," I continued. "Because you won't stay alive long enough in prison to stage your grand plans. You aren't the only one with connections."

Now, I know what you're thinking, and believe me – that was no bluff. Sergey wasn't the only person who owed me a favor. And if that idiotic, pompous son of a bitch thought he was gonna make Rose's life Hell _for fun_, well, he had another thing coming.

"You two are a match made in Heaven." Victor Dashkov kept his poker face firmly on. "Or somewhere."

"See you in Court." Rose turned and flounced out of the room. I shot Victor one last, lingering glare before following.

No one would hurt my girl and live to tell the tale. I'd make sure of it.

"Franco. Thanks, man." I whispered. The poor guy looked near a heart-attack.

"Look, just… never mention this again. Ever." He hissed. "And get out so I can have a moment's peace."

I was more than happy to do as he said, and Rose and I began the walk to her room in silence.

"Are you okay?" She finally asked.

"Yes."

She looked skeptic. "You sure?"

"As okay as I can be." I shrugged, because I was _not _okay. I was mad. Furious. And… kind of terrified, too.

"Do you think he'll tell everyone about us?" Rose demanded.

"No."

_Wow. You're talkative_. Alayah commented.

_Shut up._

_Hey!_ Daemon began. _Don't talk to her like that!_

_If you two would get the Hell out of my head so I can think, maybe I wouldn't have to!_ I roared.

A stricken-looking Alayah tugged Daemon backwards until they disappeared and I sighed.

"Did you mean it?" Rose stammered. "That if Victor did tell… that you'd…"

I noted that she couldn't even bring herself to spit it out. "I don't have much influence in the upper levels of Moroi royalty, but I have plenty among the guardians who do the dirty work in our world."

"You didn't answer my question. If you'd really do it." I shook my head, because I hadn't.

"I'd do a lot of things to protect you, Roza."

"It wouldn't exactly be protecting me." She shrugged uncomfortably. "It'd be after the fact – cold-blooded. You don't _do_ that kind of thing."

The problem was, I kind of did. I had. And I would gladly do it again if I felt Rose's… honor… had been compromised.

"Revenge is more _my_ thing." She joked. "_I'll_ have to kill him."

"Don't talk like that." I said, more harshly than I intended to. "And anyway, it doesn't matter. Victor's not going to say anything."

I wandered off to my room after that – no need to be an asshole for much longer. And by that point, I couldn't even look at Rose for much longer. She believed I always did what I thought was best for her, and sometimes she hated it.

I couldn't bear to tell her that I didn't think I had the guts to do the one thing that would protect her the most – leave her.

* * *

** I knoooow this took me a month but it's extra-long to make up for it!**

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	7. Chapter 7

Sleep couldn't – wouldn't – find me that night. Seeing Victor had thrown me into turmoil. Rose's look of absolute trust seemed hammered into my subconscious, her words echoing in the deepest recesses of my brain. I couldn't escape her, not even in my own damned head.

Love is not always a gift; if there's one thing I learned from my mother is that it can too easily become a curse. I never wanted to give someone so much power over me, I was always careful and kept myself at arm's length. _How the hell did this happen to me?_ I couldn't even remember when love for her began consuming me. It just did.

And I hated it. Love has the potential to make your life wonderful, your existence transcendental, but it can also turn it into a living hell. So I loved her. I could wish I didn't for days. What I _couldn't_ do was change that. Grass is green. Dimitri Belikov loves Rosemarie Hathaway.

_When did she become my definition? When did everything start relating to her, her eyes, her fucking hair? _

I stood and threw my pillow at the door. So many people wanted love desperately and never got it – how was it fair that I had it and wished for release?

_Dimitri_. Alayah sighed sadly. _Listen. It's not your fault. How could you help it? You saw her, got to know her, and everything just… fell into place._

_You can't avoid this anymore. If it's meant to be, it will be, like it or not_. Daemon added wisely.

"WE ARE NOT FUCKING MEANT TO BE!" I roared, kicking the sofa she had been sitting on a few hours before. _We are not meant to be. It's never gonna happen. There isn't the slightest chance of us getting married – or even having a stable relationship – when one of us could die any minute. And she is seven years younger. SEVEN! It's like I'm dating Victoria, for Christ's sake!_

_You weren't this bothered by her age before_. Alayah noted.

I laughed bitterly. _I wasn't bothered? I've done nothing but worry about it!_

_SO GET THE HELL OVER IT_. Daemon yelled, exasperated. _Look, you know I'm not this relationship's biggest fan. You fell in love with the wrong girl. It happens, man. You're not the first guy it's happened to. You won't be the last. Get over the self-pity, okay? You sound like a brooding vampire_.

When Daemon calls you brooding, you know there's something wrong. Which is why I did the first thing I could think of – I sat down on the bed and began folding Eddie and Rose's guardian clothes.

I tell myself that I could leave. Maybe I'm lying. Could I leave her to make her happy? Possibly. Could I leave her because it's what's best for us? No. I think we can enjoy what's worst for us – together.

That last thought, look at it. Think about it. Notice it. Done? That thought is what made me pin a note to Rose's clothes.

Wear your hair up.

After that, the easiest thing was to fall asleep.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"I do." The room was quiet as I spoke into the microphone.

"What were you doing while Princess Vasilisa was being kidnapped?"

"I was with my student, Rose Hathaway. She shares a bond with the princess and was the first to sense what had happened." I answered.

Victor's lawyer frowned. "Based on the events, it sounds like there was a delay between when she discovered that and when you alerted the others."

I nodded. "She couldn't act on it because Mr. Dashkov had inflicted a charm on her, one that caused her to attack me."

_Stop feeling so guilty_. Alayah chided. _She did attack you. Sexually._

Daemon agreed. _It's all for the greater good. Plus, this hurts no one._

_It certainly seems to be very near killing me_. I muttered.

"Mr. Dashkov works with earth magic, and some who use that power and are strong in compulsion can influence our base instincts. In this case, he affected her anger and violence through an object." I lied, unflinching.

Victor snickered.

A chill ran down my spine.

"Mr. Dashkov, please respect the decorum of this courtroom." The judge sniffed.

"I'm terribly sorry, Your Honor and Your Majesty." Victor smiled. "Something in Guardian Belikov's testimony just tickled my fancy, that's all. It won't happen again."

The bastard was playing with us, damn him. Thank God he didn't have a chance to do so again. I would've had a heart attack. I stepped off the witness stand and shot him a glare. Son of a bitch.

Christian's testimony was very brief, and then Rose was up, swearing to tell the truth, and I wished she didn't have to be in this position.

Everything went smoothly enough, but when she mentioned the charm and looked at Victor out of the corner of her eye, he just couldn't stop grinning. He called the shots here, and he knew it.

Lissa's testimony shocked us all, but Victor's was the one that really had my full attention. He was talking about Natalie becoming Strigoi because that was her decision when things got really interesting.

"Can you say that about everyone you used to meet your ends? Guardian Belikov and Miss Hathaway had no say in what you made them do." The prosecutor pointed.

Victor almost laughed. "Well, that's a matter of opinion. I honestly don't think they minded. But if you have time after this case, Your Honor, you might want to consider trying a statutory rape case."

And between me and my voices (bless their hearts), Victor was instructed to go to Hell more times than I could count.

The courtroom was horrified. How could someone imply such a thing? Why, it was simply disgraceful, what the world had come to. No one even took Victor seriously.

It was a thing of beauty.

The whole circus was over shortly, and Victor was sentenced to a life in prison by the Queen. I had been pretty sure he'd be found guilty – Tatiana Ivashkov had a reputation for fairness.

As soon as everyone began to go their separate ways, I stood and decided to casually brush by Rose and Lissa. "He's crazy." The princess was whispering. "I can't believe he said that stuff about you and Dimitri."

Rose's face might've been impassive, but her eyes were smiling.

The door opened to a very dark, very red room. It was like someone's guts had exploded, sending blood all over the place. Red cushions, a scarlet couch, wine curtains, burgundy wallpaper, and a crimson lamp sending damask light over it all.

_Ok. That is a lot of ways to say red._ Alayah's eyes were wide.

_Everyone needs an extensive vocabulary_.

"Ah, they said you were in here." I told the girls and the psychic – Rhonda. I bowed (because it's best to be polite at all times, that way, people will like you and help out when you need to sneak into odd places or get secret info.). "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to bring these two to their flight."

"There's nothing to apologize about." Rhonda answered, gracious. "But maybe you've got time for a reading of your own?"

I nodded, sitting beside Rose. "Thank you."

"I'll be brief." The woman promised – and, true to her word, she had three cards in front of me in a matter of seconds. "You will lose what you value the most, so treasure it while you can. The wheel is turning, always turning."

I looked down at the Wheel of Fortune. Beside it lay the Knight of Rods and the Five of Cups. How she had gotten all that from those I had no idea, but Yeva had made it her life's mission to instill in me a healthy respect for everyone practicing the occult, and I remained silent.

Finally, I nodded. "Thank you."

_You will lose what you value the most…_ What did I value the most? This was what I was contemplating as I led Rose and Lissa to the plane. I certainly valued my family, but they were hardly in any danger, and what were the odds of me losing them all at once?

_You value your courage_. Daemon pointed. _Maybe you'll lose that._

_It could be anything, really. Your life, your status as a Guardian, or_… Alayah paused – it was quite wise of her, really. I didn't need anyone to say what I was already thinking.

_Rose._

"Are you still thinking about what Rhonda said? That woman's a total scam." The afore-mentioned person stated confidently.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she didn't tell us _anything_! You should have heard my future. It was, like, one sentence stating the obvious. Lissa had a better fortune, but it wasn't really anything that profound. Rhonda said she'd be a great leader. I mean, seriously, how hard is that to figure out?" She ranted, looking ridiculously proud of her best friend.

"Would you be a believer if she'd given you a more interesting reading?" I teased.

"Maybe… if it was good." I burst out laughing at that one. "But you're taking it seriously. Why? You really believe in that kind of stuff?"

"It's not so much that I believe … or that I don't believe. I just respect people like her." I shrugged, remembering Yeva again. "They have access to knowledge other people don't."

"She's not a spirit user, though, so I'm not really sure where she's getting this knowledge. I still think she's a con artist." Rose added.

"She's a vra˘jitoare, actually." I corrected.

"A… A what? Is that Russian?" She accused.

"Romanian. It means… well, there's no real translation." There often wasn't. "'Witch' is close, but that's not right. Their idea of a witch isn't the same as an American's. My grandmother was like Rhonda. That is, she practiced the same kind of arts. Personality-wise, she's very different."

I had a feeling Rose was fighting incredulity. "Your grandmother was a… v-whatever?"

"It's called something else in Russian, but, yes, same meaning. She used to read cards and give advice, too." I shrugged again. "It was how she made her living."

"Was she right? In her predictions?" Rose insisted.

"Sometimes." I admitted. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"You've got this look on this face that says you think I'm delusional, but you're too nice to say anything." And the idea of Rose being too nice to say something was more ridiculous than witches and the occult.

"_Delusional_ is kind of harsh." She laughed. "I'm just surprised, that's all. I never expected you to buy into this stuff."

_Hm. You do have a rather skeptic air_. Alayah mused. _Though I have to say I don't think the way to a girl's heart is telling her that you have a witch for a grandmother._

_Hear, hear_. Daemon dead-panned.

"Well, I grew up with it, so it doesn't seem that strange to me." I explained. "And, like I said, I'm not sure I buy into it 100 percent."

_Just enough to be a little worried._

"I never thought of you as having a grandmother, either. I mean, obviously, you'd have to." She clarified. "But still…it's just weird to think about growing up with one. Was it weird having a witch grandma? Scary? Was she always, like, threatening to cast spells if you were bad?"

I was sorry for Rose, then. She'd never had a grandmother, or known what wonderful chaos a big family can make. "Mostly she just threatened to send me to my room."

"That doesn't sound so scary." She smiled.

"That," I admitted. "Is because you haven't met her."

"Is she still alive?" Rose wondered.

"Yeah. It'll take more than old age to kill her off." I grinned. "She's tough. She was actually a guardian for a while."

"Really? So she gave it up to become a—uh, to stay with her kids?" Rose corrected.

"She has very strong ideas about family—ideas that probably sound kind of sexist to you. She believes all dhampirs should train and put in time as guardians, but that the women should eventually return home to raise their children together." I explained.

She frowned. "But not the men?"

"No. She thinks men still need to stay out there and kill Strigoi."

"Wow. You were the one who had to go. The women in your family kicked you out." She giggled.

Of course that'd be what she got.

I thought of all the crying when I left and laughed. "Hardly. My mother would take me back in a second if I wanted to come home."

_But it isn't that you don't want to_. Alayah sighed. _God, I miss them, too._

_Karolina's pancakes._ Daemon licked his lips.

_Yeah, and all the clothes spread everywhere on the weekends_. I chuckled.

"Yes! About time!" Ivashkov cheered, raring to board.

We all clambered up onto the plane after that – and after I'd given James one of those awkward man-hugs, leaving with the promise to visit soon.

I couldn't help but wallow in my seat away from the rest. My home was a small place, so everyone knew one another – to the point where all I had to do when I was a boy was tell Yeva my friends' last names and she would tell me their families' life stories. People were always inundating our house, stopping me on the street to say I looked exactly like my mother.

I loved it.

"What's wrong?" I heard Alberta ask a flight attendant. I edged closer.

"An ice storm just blew through the area. We can't land at St. Vladimir's because the runway isn't accessible with the ice and the winds. We need fuel, however, so we're going to land at Martinville Regional. It's a small airport a few hours away by car, but they weren't as affected as much. Our plan is to land there, refuel, and then fly into the Academy once they've cleared the runway. It's less than an hour by air." The woman answered briskly.

I thought, okay. More time to figure out Rhonda's creepy prediction,right?

Wrong.

Because as soon as our plane's wheels touched the ground, Rose started to scream.

* * *

**Whew. Ok, everyone. News: There's gonna be a VA movie. Richelle has sold the rights. Don't believe me? It's on facebook under Official Vampire Academy movie.**

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**Even more news: I am writing another VA fic called "A light from the Shadows." It's about Vladimir and Anna. Please check it out!**

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	8. Chapter 8

"Jesus!"

"Oh, shit."

"What the –"

"Rose?" Alberta waved a hand in front of her face. "Rosemarie!"

But her eyes, moving wildly around like there were things only she could see, did not rest on the woman talking to her.

Rose lifted shaking hands to her neck. "Make them go away! Make them go away!"

She struggled to undo her seatbelt and stood, tilting precariously. I steadied her. "Rosie? Roza. What do you see?"

_I cannot believe she is having a mental breakdown on a plane_. Daemon said.

Alayah frowned. _You are so insensitive._

She began waving her arms like there was a swarm of insects around her. "Help! Please! Please, make it stop, make it stop…"

I felt so impotent, right then. If Strigoi were attacking her, or if someone wanted to drown her – then I could help. But I couldn't fight against what was going on in Rose's mind.

I wanted to kill someone, right then. Possibly myself.

"Help… no… please… please." Her voice dwindled to a hoarse whisper. "Dimitri? Someone… help…"

And then she put her hand on her forehead, blinked, and fell into my arms.

_God, please don't let this be a brain tumor or something. Please. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. I'm panicking. No panicking. Breathe. In and out. She's alive. In. She'll be fine. Out. Okay. I can do this. I can help. It's okay. Shit. Okay. _

Lissa grasped Rose's arms and her forehead screwed up with concentration. "I – I can't heal her. Why can't I do anything? What's wrong?"

Alberta's lips were a thin line. "Get her to the Academy, Belikov."

_OhmyGodI'mgonnakillusall. Okay. Okay. Breathing. Right. No panic._

Ivashkov dared to protest. "Maybe by plane –"

"No way. The weather is awful." Christian piped up.

"He's right." Eddie nodded. "They have to drive."

"Go!" Alberta urged.

That's how I ended up with my unconscious student beside me in a rented car. And I flew – past other cars, over bridges, and through stop lights. Rose emitted the occasional half-conscious mutter, but aside from that, the ride was as risky as it was silent.

And then, thank God, we were finally there, and Dr. Olendski and a nurse were fussing over Rose like extremely-stressed aunts.

Aunts that promptly shooed me out of the room and made me wait outside.

_This can't be happening. This can't be happening. What does Rhonda know anyway? It's gotta be a coincidence. It has to be. Oh my God, I can't go on if she's not here. Please. I won't lose her. Of course not. Breathing. In and out. Shit, shit, shit. I need my mom_.

I think at some point Alberta came in and told me to stop pacing. Daemon and Alayah were – thankfully – absent.

_Calm. Channel the guru inside. No one's dying. They'd tell us if she was dying, right? Aren't there machines that beep for that? Okay, okay. Breathing. Christ. There's no beeping. Shouldn't there be beeping? Why the hell is there no beeping?_

"Maybe she's not hooked up to that machine." Alberta said, making me realize I'd begun to blab. "I don't see why she should be. The problem was inside her mind. Nothing is wrong with her body. Calm down, Belikov."

_Okay. Okay. So what do I value the most? Her mind? She better not lose her mind. Oh, God. I'm no good at waiting. Fuck. I better have told her I love her. Did I? Shit. I can't think like this. I think I kind of hinted at it. Shit. I should've told her. I should've – okay. Okay. I'll tell her as soon as she wakes up. Okay. Breathing. No panic_.

Dr. Olendski's head popped out. "She's waking up."

We were crowding around Rose in a flash. The poor Moroi pushed us back until we were a few steps away, and hushed our protesting. "Stop! You'll frighten her!"

I saw dark hair move, and eyes blinking rapidly. Dr. Olendski stood over her patient. "Hello, Rose. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." She answered, turning her head and catching a glimpse of us.

"May we?" Alberta asked before I could say anything. A nod. I practically fell over myself to step forward. "Rose…"

"Rose, what happened back there? And _do not_ say it was nothing this time." I added – a bit harshly. She was alright, and I wasn't terrified out of my wits anymore. Nope. Now I was just relieved – and kinda pissed.

"We only want to help you." The doctor soothed.

"I don't need any help. I'm fine." Rose repeated.

"You were fine when you were on the air. When we landed," Alberta continued, "you were most definitely not fine."

She looked at her hands. "I'm fine now."

"What happened then? Why the screaming? What did you mean when you said we needed to make 'them' go away?" Alberta insisted.

Tears filled her eyes. "Rose. Please."

She looked up at the ceiling. "Ghosts. I saw ghosts."

Sanity, I concluded, had officially left the building.

Olendski stuttered. "W-what do you mean?"

"He's been following me for the last couple of weeks. Mason." She admitted.

I died.

"On campus. I know it sounds crazy—but it's him. Or his ghost. That's what happened with Stan. I locked up because Mason was there, and I didn't know what to do. On the plane… I think he was there too … and others. But I couldn't exactly see them when we were in the air. Just glimpses… and the headache. But when we landed in Martinville, he was there in full form. And—and he wasn't alone. There were others with him. Other ghosts."

There was silence.

So, because I wondered, I asked. "Did you know them?"

"Yeah… I saw some of Victor's guardians and the people from the massacre." Rose paused, uncomfortable. "Lissa's… Lissa's family was there too."

Well. Talk about awkward. We all looked at one another until Dr. Olendski sighed, a deflating balloon. "Could I speak with the two of you privately?"

We followed her outside, where she turned around and frowned at the world in general.

"What's going on?" I asked – rather foolishly, in fact.

She huffed, indignant. "What's going on? What's going on? It's obvious what's going on! That poor girl. She's undergoing post-traumatic stress disorder, and it's no wonder after everything that's happened."

"Are you sure? Maybe it's something else…" Alberta theorized half-heartedly.

"Look at the facts: a teenage girl who witnessed one of her friends getting killed and then had to kill his killer. You don't think that's traumatic?" The doctor raged. "You don't think that might have had the _tiniest_ effect on her?"

Alberta was solemn. "Tragedy is something all guardians have to deal with."

"Maybe there's not much to be done for guardians in the field, but _Rose_ is still a student here. There are resources that can help her."

At this, I interrupted. "Like what?"

"Counseling. Talking to someone about what happened can do worlds of good." Olendski nodded. "You should have done that as soon as she got back. You should do it for the others who were with her while you're at it. Why doesn't anyone _think _of these things?"

I remembered my mother insisting on taking me to a psychologist after Ivan.

"It's a good idea." I admitted. "She could do it on her day off."

"Day off?" The Moroi scoffed. "More like _every_ day. You should pull her from this entire field experience. Fake Strigoi attacks are not the way to recover from a real one."

"No!" Rose burst through the door. Eavesdropping. Typical.

"Rose, you should go lie down."

"I'm fine. And you can't make me quit the field experience. I won't graduate if you do." She argued, desperate.

"You aren't well, Rose, and there's nothing to be ashamed of after what's happened to you." The doctor said in her smooth, honey voice that she clearly reserved for people she considered the victims of idiots. "Thinking you're seeing the ghost of someone who died isn't too out there when you consider the circumstances."

Rose shook her head, and I knew she was about to get her way with classical Rose-logic. "Unless you're going to put me in counseling 24/7, you're just going to make it worse. I need something to do. Most of my classes are on hold right now. What would I do? Sit around? Think more and more about what happened? I'll go crazy— for real. I don't want to sit on the past forever. I need to get moving with my future."

Looking back, that speech was a thing of beauty.

"She needs to work everything out before she can move forward." Dr. Olendski dictated.

"I think we are all overreacting." Alberta sighed. "Rose is hardly a fragile little flower –"

"Oh, so the fact that she spontaneously went into hysterics means nothing to you?" The woman retaliated.

"What I am trying to say is that this may be Rose's way of dealing, and that does not mean that there's something wrong with her." My boss shrugged.

"Why can't she just do both?" I asked. "That way she would pass her field experience and attend therapy while she's not busy."

Dr. Olendski wasn't ecstatic, and Rose looked like she wanted to roll her eyes at all of us for being silly, but Alberta and I finally worked out a schedule – one that she would, hopefully, follow to a T.

Then there was a physical examination, and Alberta left with the wind, and I was all alone in the hallway outside the room again, facing one simple question.

_Why didn't she tell me?_

_She trusts me. She knows – she knows, doesn't she? Of course. She has to know. I've never been the best actor. So why the lack of trust? Does she think I would casually mention it to someone during my lunch break? Or maybe she… _

Rose came out quickly and I began walking her to her dorm.

"Thanks for thinking of the half-time thing." She said, content.

I considered murder.

Her body was pressed up against mine before I knew what I was doing, hands clutching thin arms, face to face. "Rose. This shouldn't have been the first time I heard about this!"

Her eyes widened.

"Why didn't you tell me? Do you know what it was like? _Do you know what it was like_ for me to see you like that and not know what was happening?" I demanded, frantic. "Do you know how _scared_ I was?"

_'Scared' might be a slight understatement_. Alayah corrected primly.

_Yeah, I think 'stupefied' might be a better way to describe it_. Daemon laughed – apparently, he no longer had any qualms about being a bother.

The nerve.

"You're not scared of anything." Rose blurted.

"I'm scared," I admitted, "Of lots of things. I was scared for you. I'm not perfect. I'm not invulnerable."

_You can hurt me._

"I know." She said, frustrated. "It's just…"

There were clearly no words for her, so I went on. "And this has been going on for a long time too. It was going on with Stan, when you were talking to Father Andrew about ghosts—you were dealing with it _this whole time_! Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell Lissa… or… me?"

Rose was serious. "Would you have believed me?"

"Believed what?"

"That I'm seeing ghosts." She clarified.

"Well…" I drawled uncomfortably, "They aren't ghosts, Rose. You only think they are because –"

"_That_'s why." She pointed. "That's why I couldn't tell you or anybody. Nobody would believe me, not without thinking I'm crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy." I whispered. "But I think you've been through a lot."

Rose's voice shook. "It's more than that."

I pulled her back – closer – when she tried to walk away. "Tell me then. Tell me how it's more than that."

I was frantic. Between the recent almost-panic-attack and Rhonda's insane prediction, I did not look forward to having Rose out of my sight just yet.

"You won't believe me." She sighed. "Don't you get it? No one will. Even _you_, of all people."

I was separate from the other people. The significance of that was not lost on me. "I'll… try. But I still don't think you really understand what's happening to you."

"I do. That's what no one realizes. Look, you have to decide once and for all if you really do trust me. If you think I'm a child, too naïve to get what's going on with her fragile mind, then you should just keep walking." Rose declared, and she clearly meant it. "But if you trust me enough to remember that I've seen things and know things that kind of surpass those of others my age… well, then you should also realize that I might know a little about what I'm talking about."

I shrugged. "I do trust you, Roza. But… I don't believe in ghosts."

_Despite all evidence to the contrary_. Daemon piped up.

_I am getting sick of that running commentary of yours._

Alayah rolled her eyes. _Do us all a favor, then. Kindly throw him out the window._

_Hey! I'm wounded, now._ Daemon placed a hand over his heart. _I'm a fragile flower. I thought… we had something special._

_Fuck off._

"Will you try to?" Rose was asking. "Or at the very least try not to write this off to some psychosis?"

I thought about it. "Yes. That I can do."

This made her launch into a twenty minute explanation about what she'd been through lately, at the end of which she tacked on, "Doesn't it seem kind of, um, specific for a random stress reaction?"

"I don't know that you can really expect 'stress reactions' to be random or specific." I hedged. "They're unpredictable by nature. Why are you so certain these aren't just things you're imagining?"

"Well, at first I thought I was imagining it all." Rose admitted. "But now … I don't know. There's something about it that feels real… even though I know that isn't actually evidence. But you heard what Father Andrew said – about ghosts sticking around after they die young or violently."

And she claimed she wasn't religious. "So you think Mason's back for _revenge_?"

The idea of that redheaded rascal being bloodthirsty seemed ludicrous, open mind or not.

"I thought that at first, but now I'm not so sure. He's never tried to hurt me. He just seems like he wants something. And then … all those other ghosts seemed to want something too—even the ones I didn't know. Why?" Rose's eyes glinted.

"You have a theory." I stated.

She was proud. "I do. I was thinking about what Victor said. He mentioned that because I'm shadow-kissed – because I died – I have a connection to the world of the dead. That I'll never entirely leave it behind me."

"I wouldn't put a lot of stock in what Victor Dashkov tells you." I said.

"But he _knows _things!" Rose protested. "You know he does, no matter how big an asshole he is."

"Okay, supposing that's true, that being shadow-kissed lets you see ghosts, why is it happening now? Why didn't it happen right after the car accident?" I pointed.

"I thought of that. It was something else Victor said—that now that I was dealing in death, I was that much closer to the other side." _The very idea…_ "What if causing someone else's death strengthened my connection and now makes this possible? I just had my first real kill. Kills, even."

"Why is it so haphazard? Why does it occur when it does? Why the airplane? Why not at Court?" I asked.

"What are you, a _lawyer_?" Rose said, like it was something dirty. "You question everything I'm saying. I thought you were going to have an open mind."

"I am." I was. "But you need to, too. Think about it. Why this pattern of sightings?"

"I don't know. You still think I'm crazy."

I raised her face up to mine. "No. _Never_. Not _one _of these theories makes me think you're crazy. But I've always believed the simplest explanation makes sense. Dr. Olendzki's does. The ghost one has holes. But, if you can find out more… then we may have something to work with."

She raised her eyebrows. "We?"

"Of course. I'm not leaving you alone on this, no matter what." And, you know, because my almost-girlfriend had almost-died and I was feeling like quite a romantic, I added, "You know I'd never abandon you."

I expected some melting, possibly swooning, or a smile, but all I got was a baffled Rose groping for words.

"And I won't ever abandon you, you know. I mean it… not that this stuff ever happens to _you_, of course," She rolled her eyes. "But if you start seeing ghosts or anything, I'll help you through it."

_Oh, yeah, by the way, darling, I have two annoying voices in my head. That little detail is, incidentally, much more bothersome than your ghosts, I'm sure._

I couldn't not laugh. "Thanks."

A tiny hand crept into mine, and I was happy to stand there, looking at her, fingers intertwined.

And the world was, for a moment, just bursting with possibilities.

* * *

**This update came quickly because I love you. So love me and review =D**

**BTW I'm writing original stuff on a site called Teen Ink. If you wanna check it out, well... commenting and rating would make me happy (you don't need an account to do that). teeninkDOTcom/users/lizzymwrites.**

**I am also writing another VA fic called "A light from the Shadows." It's about Vladimir and Anna. Please check it out!**


	9. Chapter 9

Even if you're not religious, churches are very nice places. They're quiet, calm. Peaceful.

And, since peace is not something Guardians get to feel too often, I tried to go to church whenever I felt stressed.

Which is why I was sitting on a pew in Father Andrew's empty chapel that day. My mind had been spinning all day – Rose had given me a fair number of things to worry about, and between that and playing Strigoi for the novices, I was too close to insanity for my liking.

Incense swirled around me. The smell was bitter, but not unpleasant, and it carried memories of a younger Yeva taking me and my sisters to Church in the good old days when everything she said was law, and my belief in God was never so much as doubted.

Something stirred beside me. I turned and saw her, wrapped in light from the door, and for a moment I wondered at her beauty.

"Rose, is everything okay?" I asked as she sat down beside me.

"Yeah. Well, kind of. No breakdowns, if that's what you're worried about." She assured me. "I just had a question. Or, well, a theory."

Daemon went all, _Oh, joy. Another one_.

Rose fidgeted and began to explain that Alice – a crazy old feeder – had told her that wards should keep ghosts out, and that if she was seeing them it meant the wards were unsafe. This she promptly related to her episode in Martinville, as the airport did not have wards, though our plane had a few.

It was insane.

"I know Alice. I'm not sure she's credible." I said as gently as I could.

"I know. I thought the same thing. But a lot of it makes sense."

I shook my head. "Not quite. As you pointed out, why are your visions so irregular here? That doesn't go along with the ward theory. You should feel like you did on the plane."

She frowned. "What if the wards are just weak?"

"That's impossible. Wards take months to wear down. New ones are put in place here every two weeks"

"That often?" Rose sighed. "Maybe they're getting staked. By humans or something—like we saw before."

"Guardians walk the grounds a few times a day. If there was a stake in the borders of campus, we'd notice." I answered.

Rose seemed disappointed. I ventured, "You thought if she was right, it would explain everything."

Her voice faltered. "I don't want to be crazy."

"You aren't crazy."

"But you don't believe I'm really seeing ghosts." She whispered.

"I don't know. I'm still trying to keep an open mind." I told her truthfully. "And being stressed isn't the same as being crazy."

"I know. But… well… there's something else…"

I waited until the words tumbled out of her. Adrian had, apparently, noticed the side effects of Spirit jumping from Lissa's aura to Rose's, and the priest had told Rose that Anna also had Vladimir's insanity. It was a reliable explanation for everything – the best yet.

"Have you told anyone else about this? Lissa? Your counselor?"

"No." She stared at her lap. "I was… afraid… of what they'd think."

"You have to stop this." I said. "You aren't afraid of throwing yourself in the path of danger, but you're terrified of letting anyone in."

"I… I don't know… I guess." She admitted.

"Then why'd you tell me?"

A smile bubbled up. "Because you told me I should trust people. I trust you."

I ignored the last part (and the warm and fuzzy feeling it brought), in favor of keeping some shred of dignity. "You don't trust Lissa?"

"I trust her, absolutely. But I don't want to tell her things that'll make her worry. I guess it's a way of protecting her, just like keeping Strigoi away." Rose answered.

"She's stronger than you think. And she would go out of her way to help you." I hoped.

"So, what? You want me to confide in her and not you?" She asked.

"No, I want you to confide in both of us." I told her. "I think it'd be good for you. Does what happened to Anna… bother you?"

_It bothers _me,_ that's for sure._

"No. It scares me."

_Therapy is clearly doing wonders for her if she can admit that_. Alayah piped up.

Rose's bottom lip quivered as I pulled her into my arms. She sobbed.

"I don't want to be like that. I want to be like everyone else. I want my mind to be… normal. Normal by Rose standards, I mean. I don't want to lose control. I don't want to be like Anna and kill myself." We both shuddered. " I love being alive. I'd die to save my friends, but I hope it doesn't happen. I hope we all live long, happy lives. Like Lissa said—one big happy family. There's so much I want to do, but I'm so scared… scared that I'll be like her… I'm afraid I won't be able to stop it…"

We were having a moment. My arms tightened around her.

"It's not going to happen. You're wild and impulsive, but at the end of the day, you're one of the strongest people I know. Even if you are the same as Anna—and I don't think you are—you two won't share the same fate."

She sniffed.

"You're also missing something." I realized. "If you are in danger from Lissa's magic, then at least you understand why. She can stop using her magic, and that'll be the end of it."

_Yeah, like it's that simple_. Daemon sighed. _She would never do it._

_She would. For Rose, she would._ Alayah assured.

Rose lifted her head off my shoulder to look at me, rubbing her eyes. "But can I ask her to do that? I've felt how it makes her feel. I don't know if I can take that away from her."

"Even at the cost of your own life?"

"Vladimir did great things—so could she. Besides, they come first, right?"

My answer was horribly biased. "Not always. Sometimes, Rose, you have to know when to put yourself first."

Horrified, she shook her head. "Not with Lissa."

"She's your friend. She'll understand." I gave her _chotki_ a pull.

"It's more than that. If anything, this proves it. I'm bound to her, to protect the Dragomirs, at all costs."

"I know, but…" _But not at the cost of you. Not you. Anything else but that._

Rose decided to end our tête-à-tête. "I need to get back. It's past curfew."

Like she cared. "And you need me to get you back or you'll get in trouble."

"Well, yeah, I was kind of hoping…"

"Why, hello, there, Rose. Guardian Belikov." Father Andrew said amiably. "I'm just about to close for tonight."

"Of course, Father." I nodded, pulling me and Rose up. "We were just leaving."

"Yeah. Bye, Father Andrew." Rose waved. I followed her before she could disappear into the night.

We walked in silence, hands in pockets, breath warm mist before our faces. It was nice. Comfortable. I even managed to sneak Rose in without any trouble.

Yuri hurried past us with a curt nod.

"Hey, wait." I blurted. "You've been working with security, haven't you? When was the last time they laid new wards?"

He shrugged. "A couple of days ago. Why?"

I gave Rose a see-I-told-you-so look. To Yuri, I merely said, "Just curious."

A week crawled by without incident. Well, if you don't consider constant fighting and bruising an incident.

Until Sunday, that is, when Yuri, Jean and I attacked Dean Barnes as he walked beside Rose and Lissa.

Poor Dean was awful. Rose, I saw, finished off her attackers in two minutes, tops.

And then she went and pushed Dean out of the way.

The fight, let me tell you, was epic. We even managed to draw a crowd. It was all rhythmic thrusting and evading and narrowed eyes searching for weaknesses.

But I knew Rose. I soon had her pinned to the ground. And you know what she did?

She elbowed me in the fucking face. I was so proud.

_Oh. Ok. Someone's gonna have a black eye tomorrow_. Alayah giggled.

_Ouch_, Was Daemon's only comment.

Rose rolled over and our positions were reversed. I struggled to push her off, but she took out her stake…

And got me right in the heart.

It was over, and I finally had time to notice the way her hands felt on my chest, sweaty body against mine. She had the craziest look in her eyes, like she was hoping I would devour her right there. My stomach flipped and it was taking everything in my panting self not to press my lips against her panting ones.

A smiling Jean pulled Rose up.

I didn't know whether to be thankful or murderous. I felt a bit of both.

Everyone was staring at her – suitably impressed – as I scrambled to my feet. Yuri grinned. "Well done. You took down all three of us. That was textbook perfect."

I was one ecstatic motherfucker right then.

"I hope … I hope I didn't hurt any of you." Rose said.

A laugh. "That's our job. Don't worry about us. We're tough." Jean nodded, then turned to me. "She got you pretty good with her elbow."

I gingerly touched my cheekbone. "The student surpasses the teacher. Or stakes, rather."

Yuri frowned at Dean. "Alcohol isn't allowed on campus."

"It's Sunday! We aren't supposed to be on duty." He protested.

Jean sighed. "There are no rules in the real world. Consider this a pop quiz. You passed it, Rose. Very nice job."

"Thanks. Wish I could say the same for my clothes." Rose shrugged. We were both lumps of brownish mud and leaves. "I'm going to have to go change, Liss. I'll meet you for dinner."

Lissa beamed. "Okay."

"And _you_ are going to take a walk with us." Yuri informed Dean, who groaned miserably.

We all split up, and though I would've liked some time with Rose, I walked to my room on a cloud.

* * *

**I AM SOOOOOOOO EXCITED =) Next chapter is the Cabin Scene! Squeal!**

**Oh, and if you want to know more about Anna and her Vlad, check out my new story, A Light From The Shadows.**

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I'll do my damnedest to UD tomorrow because of them.**


	10. THE CABIN SCENE

"Hello?"

"We have a problem on the northwest campus, between the pond and fence. Be there." Celeste barked, hanging up on me before I could even ask for an explanation.

_A problem?_ Alayah asked.

_If it's not Strigoi, then what could it possibly be?_ Daemon wondered.

_Rose._

And then I was really running, legs pumping quick and furious on protesting snow, and the wind on my face was shrieking at me to go faster, and I couldn't. I couldn't go faster.

The first thing I saw was Eddie Castile trying – and failing – to hold a raging Rose away from beat-up Jesse, who currently had a bloody and bruised Lissa hovering over him like an angel.

Then I noticed the people that were on the ground around them.

Rose seemed to be fine, and more Guardians had arrived, so I began to help Alberta determine which Moroi were in serious need of medical help and which were fit to be questioned.

And then Rose began screaming. "You can't let him go! You can't let him go!"

"Rose, calm down. It's over." Alberta soothed.

"It is not over! Not until I get my hands around his throat and choke the life out of him!" She answered, flashing eyes boring into mine.

Alberta's patience was non-existent. "Get her out of here. Get her cleaned up and calmed down."

I began pulling Rose away from the scene. "We can make this easy or difficult. There is _no way_ I'm letting you go to Jesse. Besides," I added as an afterthought, "he's at the med clinic, so you'd never get near him. If you can accept that, I'll release you. If you bolt, you know I'll just restrain you again."

Hesitation. Then, "Okay."

_If you love her, Dimka, let her go_. Daemon stage-whispered.

Alayah, too, nodded dramatically. _If it's meant to be, she'll come back._

Though _I_ did not see the humor in their impromptu show, they fell into a laughing heap. _Idiots._

I slowly released her arm.

"Alberta told you to clean me up. So we're going to the med clinic?" Rose guessed.

"Nice try. I," I informed her, "am not letting you near him. We'll get first aid somewhere else."

The 'somewhere else' I had referred to was what I called Tasha's cabin. It was clean, it had a small lamp and the Guardians that had once used it had stuffed a first aid kit into a closet.

I got Rose to sit on the bed while I started a fire, then found the kit and a water bottle. I dragged a chair over and sat in front of Rose, wetting a piece of gauze for her forehead.

"You have to let me go. Don't you see? Don't you see how Jesse has to pay?" She asked, eyes begging. "He tortured her! He did horrible things to her."

"He'll be punished," I told her, dabbing at a cut right below her hairline. "believe me. And the others."

"With what? Detention?" She huffed. "This is as bad as Victor Dashkov. Nobody does anything around here! People commit crimes and get away with it. He needs to hurt. They all need to."

_Uh, dude, why does your girlfriend sound like the Terminator right now?_ Daemon asked, clearly freaked out.

_Terminator? A_layah scoffed, but she was worried. _More like Darth Vader._

"Rose, I know you're upset," I began, "but you know we don't punish people like that. It's… savage."

"Yeah? What's wrong with that? I'd bet it'd stop them from doing it again." She said, voice too loud. "They need to suffer for what they did! And I want to be the one to do it! I want to hurt them all. I want to kill them all."

Rose shot up and I pushed her back down onto the bed. She struggled. I dug my fingers into her arms.

"Rose! Snap out of this!" I shouted. "You don't mean any of it. You've been stressed and under a lot of pressure—it's making a terrible event that much worse."

"Stop it!" She shrieked. "You're doing it—just like you always do. You're always so _reasonable_, no matter how awful things are. What happened to you wanting to kill Victor in prison, huh? Why was _that _okay, but not this?"

"Because that was an exaggeration. You know it was. But this…this is something different." I gulped, reluctant to admit what I had known for some time. "There's something wrong with you right now."

"No, there's something _right _with me. I'm the only one who wants to do anything around here, and if that's wrong, I'm sorry. You keep wanting me to be some impossible, good person, but I'm not! I'm not a saint like you!"

"Neither of us is a saint." I spat. "Believe me, I don't—"

Two things happened at the same time.

Daemon pulled Alayah – who was very close to shaking – from the room.

And Rose bolted for the door.

I caught her immediately, thank God, though I was distracted. With a push, we both fell onto the bed, and I was on top of her, my weight holding her down.

My hands encircled her wrists. "Let me go!"

"No. Not until you break out of this. This isn't you!" I said, because it wasn't. It couldn't be. This was evil.

Rose was anything but.

Tears filled her eyes. "It is! Let me go!"

"It's not. It isn't you! It isn't you." I repeated.

_What else can it be?_

"You're wrong!" She sobbed, furious and so, so sad. "It is—"

Her words broke off. I watched as she fought against whatever had come over her, helpless once more. I was always of no use when she needed help.

"Rose." I breathed. It was all I could do.

And it was all it took for her anger to turn to fear.

"Oh my God."

I let my fingers trace a pattern down her face. "Rose. Are you okay?"

"I…"She faltered. "I think so. For now."

"It's over." I whispered, brushing her hair away from her pale face. "It's over. Everything's all right."

She shook her head. "No. It's not. You… you don't understand. It's true—everything I was worried about. About Anna? About me taking away spirit's craziness? It's happening, Dimitri."

_No. Please. No._

But she thundered on. "Lissa lost it out there with Jesse. She was out of control, but I stopped her because I sucked away her anger and put it into myself. And it's—it's horrible. It's like I'm, I don't know, a puppet. I can't control myself."

I could feel myself going into denial. "You're strong. It won't happen again."

"No." She sat up. "It will happen again. I'm going to be like Anna. I'm going to get worse and worse. This time it was bloodlust and hate. I wanted to destroy them. I _needed_ to destroy them. Next time? I don't know. Maybe it'll just be craziness, like Ms. Karp. Maybe I'm already crazy, and that's why I'm seeing Mason. Maybe it'll be depression like Lissa used to get. I'll keep falling and falling into that pit, and then I'll be like Anna and kill—"

"No. It won't happen to you. You're too strong. You'll fight it, just like you did this time." I said, and I didn't know who was less convinced, me or her.

"I only did because you were here." I folded my arms around her. "I can't do it by myself."

"You can. You're strong—you're so, so strong." I realized. "It's why I love you."

And that was that. I'd finally told her.

"You shouldn't. I'm going to become something terrible. I might already be something terrible."

I pulled away and took her face in my hands, ever so gently, like she could break.

"You aren't. You won't. I won't let you." I swore. "No matter what, I won't let you."

And when she looked at me with her soul in her eyes, my gut twisted, propelling me towards her. Somehow we fell into each other, and lips found lips, and we were perfectly in sync, so sweet. So gentle.

So suddenly filled with desire, I was burning, freezing, choking for more and more and more. Control died. Because this, this was so much bigger than me, than us. It was the whole Universe, and God and his stars, coming together right then.

It was fucking Fate.

And still we hesitated, for the briefest moment.

"We can't." My words were scrawled into the air between us, harmless. This was beyond us.

"I know." She whispered, and we were desperate, falling, we were doomed and silently screaming at the world to go to Hell because right and wrong were nothing – _nothing_ – in front of this.

Clothes vanished as our kisses became more desperately passionately needy, as unstoppable as a force of nature. Limbs tangled and lips crashed together again and again, a useless attempt at becoming the same person, and I looked at the goddess beside me and shattered in blissful pieces against the walls.

I had never known sex like this. It was a quick fire, spreading all over me while I kissed her neck, her arms, her everywhere, and I wondered how much the pleasure it brought me hurt, like an arrow in the heart.

Then I burned out into ash, and peace washed me away.

"I love you, Roza." A kiss. "I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"And I won't let anything happen to you. I love you." Another kiss, longer this time, and we just stayed there, legs and arms and hair intertwined, breathing.

Just breathing.

* * *

**I have a confession to make. I was gonna post this tomorrow so more people would review.**

**But that wouldn't be fair, would it? So here you go. I hope you'll be nice and tell me what you thought on the sex part. I saw Dimitri as kind of incoherent and nonsensical right then.**

**Oh, and don't worry. Daemon will star in the next chapter. I just wanted sweetness for a change. =D**


	11. Chapter 11

Walking through the woods at the edge of campus, hand in hand, was one of the happiest times in my life. Everything had been blowing up lately – the trial, ghosts, Lissa, and now the Cabin Thing. All I needed was some peace. Quiet.

And – of course – when I got it, it didn't last very long.

_What is your problem?_ Daemon roared, slamming the door to his room – where he and Alayah had been for a while – open. _It's wrong, I told you, it's immoral, and illegal, and it goes against every rule of society! But do you listen to me? No! Of course not! I'm just your fucking conscience, here to prattle endlessly while you put that uncontrollable dick of yours inside that poor child!_

Alayah flushed. _Daemon!_

_I turn around for a second and what do you do? You finally lose it! Have you gone mad? THIS IS STATUTORY RAPE! Jesus, think of your mother. No, think of Viktoria! What would you do if some twenty-four-year-old freak was sleeping with her? Huh? I can't believe it. Kissing? Ok, yeah, that I can deal with. But actual penetration? You took her virginity! That's a fucking sin, you douche!_

_Oh, yeah? And what about what you just did with Alayah?_ I screamed back, noticing that her shirt was on backwards. _You're not married – isn't _that_ a sin?_

He shook his head. _We can't get married, because, in case you haven't noticed, THERE ARE NO MOTHER-FUCKING PRIESTS IN THIS PLACE! _

_Stop it! Why are you two being so pig-headed?_ Alayah shrieked, trying to tear us apart.

Ignoring her, I went on. _Look, man, you understand, don't you? You guys are in love. You know what it's like –_

_It's different! We're the same age, we've lived through the same things!_ Daemon argued. _And, in case you haven't noticed, we're fucking voices in your empty head! WE ARE NOT BREAKING DIVINE AND HUMAN LAWS!_

_Well, maybe the damned law is wrong!_ I yelled_. She'll be eighteen in months! Months! _

_She needs to be with people her own age, not with an old son of a b – _

_SHUT THE FUCK UP!_ Alayah thumped us with her megaphone_. Idiots! Christ, Daemon, stop being so narrow-minded! "Live and let live," ok? And you! Yeah, Dimitri, he gave in and fucked me senseless because he looooooves me. What are you gonna do? Jeez, you're both so childish!_

I said nothing. Rose had stopped suddenly, hand across her stomach, looking like she was about to throw up. "What's wrong?"

"Do you see him?"

I tried to see what she was staring at so intently, but all I could make out was trees. "See who?"

"Mason." She breathed.

_Shit._ "Rose… we should go back…"

"What? What is it?" She asked the air. "Tell me!"

_See?_ Daemon said, more gently this time. _Rose, well, she has a lot of problems. She doesn't need a messed-up relationship making it all worse…_

Alayah shook her head at him. _Wow. You really don't understand, do you? It's his life! We're not even supposed to be here! If he makes Rose happy… just let them be. They'll figure it out – alone._

Rose turned to me, eyes frantic. "Dimitri, there are Strig–"

And then the awful thing was beside me, and between Rose seeing Mason and Daemon's speech, I was just so keyed up…

Which is the perfect way to be when you're trying to kill someone.

I got him in a minute.

Turning to make sure Rose was still there – she was – I let my eyes roam the darkness, sensing more evil lurking there.

"Rose, listen to me. Run. Run as fast and as hard as you can back to your dorm." I whispered, thankful for all those months spent watching her do circuits on the track. "Tell the guardians."

She nodded.

I was dying, right then, because, though I wanted to follow her and take her to safety, I couldn't sacrifice the lives of hundreds of students to do it.

So I clutched her forearms and looked her in the eyes. "_Do not stop_. No matter what you hear, no matter what you see, do not stop. Not until you've warned the others. Don't stop unless you're directly confronted. Do you understand?"

She nodded, and I tried to commit her to memory. If I died – and that possibility was very real, and not so improbable – I wanted her image with me.

"Tell them _buria_." The Russian word for 'storm' slipped off my tongue easily, and for a moment I wished for home.

Another nod.

I would've liked to tell her so many things, then. That I loved her, that she had to be careful because I would follow right after if she died – so many beautiful last messages in case I didn't see her again. But they would be useless.

So I said the only thing I could.

"Run."

I honestly don't know how I did it. There was a female when Rose was leaving, and then two men and another woman and Daemon and Alayah were freaking out, because this was massive – this was us, all alone, fighting Death come to life.

And then Jean appeared beside me, and I could've cried. Rose was alive. Rose was fine, and she'd run and she'd delivered her message, and now she was safe and I could finally focus, blocking out all the screaming.

It's all a blur, after that. They say the mind will go to great lengths to protect itself. I'd killed before, but never like this. I was still young. Maybe the horrors I lived through with Jean were just too much.

By the time the sun appeared, we'd gotten rid of every Strigoi in the woods – a few, Alberta informed me, had gotten into Lissa's dorm, but they had it under control. A lot of people, though no one knew the exact numbers yet, had died in the process, and Moroi and Dhampirs alike had been carried off.

So I set off for the elementary campus, where I'd heard a fire-user was decimating the last of the Strigoi with a novice.

Sure enough, I found Rose and Christian panting, sweaty, and surrounded by bodies. Rose was – not surprisingly – saying, "We gotta find another one."

_That sounds so… bloodthirsty. _Alayah shuddered.

_Thank God._

"There are no others." Rose turned to look at me. "They're either dead or have run away."

Christian smiled a little. I took a deep breath. "What you two did –"

"Was stupid?" Rose guessed.

I shook my head. "One of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Half of those are yours."

Rose stared at the bodies, frowning. "There are more than just Strigoi bodies there."

"I know. We've lost a lot of people, in all senses of the word." I sighed.

"What do you mean?" Christian asked.

"The Strigoi killed some Moroi and dhampirs." I explained. "And some… some they carried away."

The next day, everything was organized chaos. Our schedule was switched to daylight, but I saw none of it – I was stuffed in a tiny office with other Guardians as we pored over a map.

Yuri was saying, "The elementary campus and all Moroi dorms should be our main focus. The eldest novices won't be attacked…"

Rose tugged on my sleeve and led me to a corner. I immediately began worrying. "What's going on? Are you ok?"

"I think we should launch a rescue mission." She stated.

Alayah raised an eyebrow. Daemon frowned. _Completely bloodthirsty…_

"You know we –"

" –don't usually do that. Yeah, yeah. And I know we don't know where they are… except, I might."

The important question came. "How?"

"Well, Mason was the one who told me about the Strigoi last night. Mason's locked out now because the wards are back up, but somehow… I think he knows where the Strigoi are. I think he could show us where they are."

I stared.

"Come on! You have to believe me after what happened!" Rose protested, desperate.

I shrugged. "I'm still having a hard time with that. But okay. Suppose this is true. You think he can just _lead _us? You can ask him and he'll do it?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think I can. I've been fighting him all this time, but I think if I actually try to work with him, he'll help. I think that's what he's always wanted. He knew the wards were weak and that the Strigoi had been lying in wait. The Strigoi can't be too far away from us … they had to have stopped for daylight and hidden out somewhere. We might be able to get to them before the captives die. And once we get close enough, I can actually find them. I get kind of… nauseous when they're near. It's probably got something to do with being shadow-kissed, but as long as it works…"

By then, I was just rolling with the weird. "But Mason isn't here. You said he can't get through the wards. How will you get him to help us?"

"Take me to the front gates."

I told Alberta I'd be investigating something – which was technically not a lie – and hurried Rose to the campus' front, where the road was. It took some convincing, and Daemon didn't like it, but Stephen and Duke let us outside the wards and into the wind.

Rose's hands flew to her head, but she gritted her teeth. "Go away. I don't have time for you. Go."

_Wow. Ok. That is so freaky_. Alayah began.

Daemon nodded – he was still sulking, but apparently not mad enough to avoid a good quip. _Just like Rose._

"You're okay?"

Rose nooded as she looked around. "Mason, I need you."

Nothing happened.

"Mason. Please. Come here." She begged.

I couldn't see the ghost, but I could see Rose's face, and she smiled a bit as she said, "Finally. You were making me look bad."

Apparently, no one appreciated the joke. "I'm sorry. I need your help again. We have to find them. We have to save Eddie. Can you show me where they are?"

She listened for a moment. "They came in… through the back of campus?"

She turned to me. "We need a map."

So, of course, I got her a map. Rose spread it out and pointed at it. "This is where they came in, isn't it? Where the wards first broke?"

I fidgeted, uncomfortable.

She listened again. "No, that's not right. It can't be. This stretch of woods by the mountain has no roads. They'd have to go on foot, and it'd take too long to walk from the school to this other road. They wouldn't have had enough time. They'd be caught in daylight."

I followed her gaze, agreeing silently. Rose stopped talking for a moment.

"They can't be there now." She repeated to the patch of drawn grass she was staring at. "It's outside. They might have come in through the back, but they had to have left through the front – gotten in some kind of vehicle and took off."

Mason clearly disagreed with her sound reasoning, because Rose huffed angrily, looking at me. "Is there any building or anything out there? He says they were going out to that road. But they couldn't have walked there before the sun came up, and he claims they're there."

I considered it. "Not that I know of."

But, just to check, I went back to ask Stephen, who was the only person I knew that was seriously obsessed with geography.

"Oh, yeah." He nodded. "There are caves, right there. It's only five miles away, actually. I think a group of novices even camped there, once. Awesome stalactites and stalagmites, let me tell you–"

But it didn't matter, because this confirmed it. Not stress. Not craziness. No darkness from Lissa. Just Rose Hathaway seeing ghosts.

I walked back to her in a daze.

"Rose… Stephen says there are caves right at the base of the mountain here."

"Are they big enough?"

"Big enough for the Strigoi to hide out in until nighttime? They are. And they're only _five miles_ away."

The first thing to do was find out the cave's layout, and thankfully the library was one of the few buildings that had been cleared of Strigoi, so that was where I took Rose. Apparently, a long-ago teacher had decided it'd be fun to have maps of the caves, so we soon had everything we needed.

Next, we had to inform Alberta – something that took quite a while, actually – and she agreed to inform the other Guardians in the meeting.

"Do not interrupt them." I told Rose, standing in front of the door behind which the gathering would occur. "I know how you feel. I know what you want to do. But ranting at them isn't going to help you get your way."

"Ranting?" She hissed.

I ignored her. "I see it. That fire's in you again – you want to tear somebody apart. It's what made you so deadly in the fight. But we're not fighting right now. The guardians have all the information. They'll make the right choice. You just have to be patient."

And, though I hadn't really believed everyone would agree, slowly, they did. Maybe it was because, deep down, we all wanted revenge. Fifteen Moroi, most little more than children, had died. Twelve of our coworkers had followed. We _had_ to rescue the thirteen that had been taken. We just _had_ to.

Alberta finished counting the votes and sighed. "Well, then. We'll plan the logistics and head out. We've still got about nine hours of daylight to go after them before they leave."

"Wait." Janine Hathaway – who had been called, I knew, as a replacement for those who had been lost in the fight – stood up, calm. "I think there's one other thing we should consider. I think we should allow some of the senior novices to go."

"What?"

"No!"

"They're too young!"

"We need all the help we can get." Janine argued against the few that opposed her. "The novices can be backup – just in case something happens and a couple of Strigoi get past us. They're only a few weeks away from graduating, and we've trained them well. How can we eexpect them to protect Moroi outside these gates if we can't trust them with something as simple as this?"

Who could stand against _that_?

As soon as everyone quieted, Janine spoke again. "I think we should bring some Moroi with us."

Only Celeste stood, but eeveryone else began grumbling once more. "What? Are you insane?"

"No. We all know what Rose and Christian Ozera did." Janine answered proudly. "One of our biggest problems with Strigoi is getting past their strength and speed to go in for the kill. If we bring fire-using Moroi, we have a distraction that will give us an edge. We can cut them down."

"We're supposed to protect Moroi, not put them in danger's path and let them fend for themselves." Yuri argued.

"This is _their_ battle, too." Hank shot back. "We've all lost people to Strigoi."

Jean nodded. "Moroi used to fight. Why can't they do it again?"

"Times have changed!" Celeste spat.

"Not that much." Alberta told her. "It's not that they can't. It's that they _won't_."

"Then who are we to force them?"

"This is not only about Moroi." Janine's eyes blazed. "Sure, they come first, but _we_ die for them. Our race is constantly sacrificing itself for them! _We_'re willing to give up our lives and fight for them. _They _should fight for their race, too."

_This goes against everything we've been taught_. Daemon marveled. _They'll never agree._

_Times are changing._ Alayah smiled.

"You can't force them!" Katherine debated.

"We won't. We'll ask for volunteers." Alberta reasoned.

"They're being idiots." Rose informed me.

"No. Watch. Change is happening before your eyes. People are going to remember this day as a turning point."

Janine finally convinced everyone that they should let the Moroi teachers that could control fire come with us, and it was settled. We all went our different ways – most to call for reinforcements. I had to pacify Rose.

"We can't wait _four hours_!"

I sighed. "More guardians are coming."

"In four hours, the Strigoi could have decided to have a snack!" She protested.

"We need an overwhelming show of force. We need every edge we can get. Yes, the Strigoi could kill a couple more before we get there. I don't want that, believe me. But if we go in unprepared, we could lose more lives than that." I explained.

Rose huffed.

"Come on. Let's take a walk." I said.

"Where?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. We just need to get you calmed down, or you'll be in no shape to fight."

She frowned. "Yeah? Are you afraid of my possibly insane dark side coming out?"

"No, I'm afraid of your normal Rose Hathaway side coming out, the one that isn't afraid to jump in without thinking when she believes something is right."

She stared. "Is there a difference?"

"Yes. The second one scares me." I joked.

Rose thought about it. "Won't they need you here?"

"No. Most of what they're doing now is waiting for the others, and they have more than enough people right now to help plan the attack. Your mother's leading that."

She finally gave in. "Okay. Let's go."

"You told me you had a theory about why the wards broke." I said as we walked.

"Jesse's group was doing their initiation right here by the wards. You know how stakes can negate wards because the elements go against each other? I think it's the same thing. Their initiation rights used all the elements, and I think they negated the wards in the same way." She explained.

"Magic is used all the time on campus, though. In all the elements. Why has this never happened before?"

"Because the magic isn't usually happening right on top of the wards. The wards are on the edges, so the two don't usually conflict. Also, I think it makes a difference in how the elements are being used. Magic is life, which is why it destroys Strigoi and why they can't cross it. The magic in stakes is used as a weapon. So was the magic in the torture session. When it's used in that sort of negative way, I think it cancels out good magic."

"Incredible. I never would have thought that was possible, but it makes sense. The principle really is the same as for the stakes. You've thought about this a lot." I praised.

"I don't know. It just sort of fell together in my head." Rose shrugged, then shivered.

"Let's get back inside." I suggested.

We'd come a long way, and suddenly, the cabin came into view, freezing the silence.

...

_Well, this is awkward_. Alayah added.

"Rose, about what happened–"

"I knew it." She groaned. "I knew this was going to happen."

_Oh, so now she's psychic, too_. Alayah rolled her eyes.

"That what was going to happen?"

"This. The part where you give me the huge lecture about how what we did was wrong and how we shouldn't have done it and how it's never going to happen again." She spat.

"Why would you think that?" I asked, though she was quoting the conversation we'd had before the Natalie Incident almost verbatim.

"Because that's how you are! You _always_ want to do the right thing" She said, sounding a little hysterical. "And when you do the wrong thing, you then have to fix it _and_ do the right thing. And I know you're going to say that what we did shouldn't have happened and that you wish–"

Whether I kissed her to shut her up or because she was being so adorably clueless remains unclear.

"I don't," I informed her, "think what we did was wrong. I'm glad we did it. If we could go back in time, I'd do it again."

Rose smiled at the promise, but it looked involuntary, like she just couldn't keep it in. "Really? What made you change your mind?"

"You're hard to resist." I answered, happy to compliment her, for a change. "And… do you remember what Rhonda said?"

"Something about how you're going to lose something…" She ventured, unsure.

I quoted the words that had been stubbornly fused in the back of my mind for days. "'You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can.'"

She blinked. "Wait. You think I'm going to die? _That's_ why you slept with me?"

Daemon rolled his eyes, because _of course_ she'd come to that conclusion.

"No, no, of course not." I assured her, rather hurriedly. "I did what I did because… believe me, it wasn't because of that. Regardless of the specifics—or if it's even true—she was right about how easily things can change. We try to do what's right, or rather, what others say is right. But sometimes, when that goes against who we are… you have to choose."

I stuttered, as Alayah grinned delightedly, "Even before the Strigoi attack, as I watched all the problems you were struggling with, I realized how much you meant to me. It changed everything. I was worried about you—so, so worried. You have no idea. And it became useless to try to act like I could ever put any Moroi life above yours. It's not going to happen, no matter how wrong others say it is. And so I decided that's something I have to deal with. Once I made that decision… there was nothing to hold us back."

_'Us' sounds like an awful lot of people to me. _Daemon grumbled.

"Well, to hold _me _back. I'm speaking for myself. I don't mean to act like I know exactly why you did it." Shit. I wrung my hands. I hadn't been so nervous about a girl since forever. _Way to screw up, Dimitri. Now she probably thinks you're a controlling know-it-all._

"I did it because I love you." Rose said.

My laugh wouldn't be contained. "You can sum up in one sentence what it takes me a whole _speech_ to get out."

"Because it's that simple. I love you, and I don't want to keep pretending like I don't." She shrugged.

"I don't either." I took her hand. "I don't want any more lies."

I would, I realized, have to call my mother and sisters after this mess was over. No more lies.

"Then what'll happen now? With us, I mean. Once all of this is done… with the Strigoi…"

"Well, as much as I hate to reinforce your fears, you were right about one thing." I admitted. "We can't be together again—for the rest of the school year, that is. We're going to have to keep our distance. After you graduate and are out with Lissa…"

"You're going to ask to be reassigned, aren't you? You won't be her guardian." Rose guessed.

"It's the only way we can be together."

"But we won't actually _be together_." Rose pointed.

"Us staying with her gives us the same problem – me worrying more about you than her. She needs two guardians perfectly dedicated to her. If I can get assigned somewhere at Court, we'll be near each other all the time. And in a secure place like that, there's more flexibility with a guardian's schedule." I explained.

"Well, we might actually see more of each other if we're guarding different people." She added optimistically. "We can get time off together. If we were both with Lissa, we'd be swapping shifts and always be apart."

I sighed and continued. "You'll be eighteen soon, but even so… When this comes out, a lot of people aren't going to be happy."

Rose batted it away. "Yeah, well, they can deal."

"I also have a feeling," I added. "that your mother's going to have a very ugly conversation with me."

"You're about to face down Strigoi, and _my mother's_ the one you're scared of?" She asked, shocked.

"She's a force to be reckoned with. Where do you think you got it from?" I grinned.

Rose laughed. "It's a wonder you bother with me then."

I squeezed her hand. "You're worth it, believe me."

And she looked up at me so coyly I kissed her.

* * *

**This was waaaaaay longer than usual, so I hope everyone's happy. There probably won't be more updates for around a week. **

**Also, check out my new fic, A LIGHT FROM THE SHADOWS! There's a new chapter up today!**

**Here's a great poem, for you! **

**what was that?**

**you asked. and I**

**whispered to you**

**a giant balloon full**

**of red paint just**

**bumped the horizon**

**and burst. look**

**out the window.**

**that sky is**

**how I love you.**

**- Joseph Pintauro**

**Tell me if you liked it and I'll start adding them in my ANs =D**

**REVIEW! I just wrote twelve Word pages for you!**


	12. Chapter 12

Alberta was the one that led us in.

I'd begged Daemon and Alayah to calm down and lock themselves in their rooms, for a while. I needed deathly calm, and quiet.

I needed to go into killing-machine mode.

_Ok, Belikov, time to relax. This one's gonna be easy. We've got fire users. We've got the element of surprise. Really, you should be sorry for those Strigoi. They've got no idea what's coming to them. Yeah. Ok. Calm. Peace. Focus, and after this, we can take Rose for a picnic. Ok? Think of the picnic. No panicking, absolutely no panicking – there's no reason to panic, ok? Ok. Ok. Ok. I can do this. I can totally do this. I am gonna get my ass in there and stake those bastards all the way to China. Yeah! I can do this, dammit!_

My palms sweated the stake. As I followed Janine into the cave, I could almost imagine the little chat we'd be having in a few weeks.

_YOU SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER? MY UNDERAGE DAUGHTER?_

_Well, technically, ma'am, she's eighteen –_

_She was SEVENTEEN at the time! You sick son of a bitch!_

_Actually, Guardian Hathaway, we're in love, and if I may have your consent, I'd really like to marry her…_

_FUCK YOU!_ And then a massive kick to the head would end my life.

But, obviously, I was not thinking of this as I went into that cave. I was, in fact, refusing to entertain the idea that I had not called my mother – which I always did, because she and Yeva had exceptional good luck, and I always tried to soak some up.

And then there was Rose. She'd been sending me looks out of the corner of her eye for the past hour, and she was probably dying of worry for her mother and me. Hell, I was dying of worry for her mother and me. Not for her, of course – if I'd thought there was the slightest possibility that a Strigoi could get past me, I wouldn't have let her out of my sight.

Anyway, we all went in, and I was torn between forced optimism and wanting to shit my pants. Nothing like this had been attempted since ancient times. We were in uncharted waters. We were making history.

But I didn't care about making fucking history. I enjoyed living, thank you very much, which was why I did not exactly relish skipping into the belly of the beast.

Still, in we went, and as soon as the first Strigoi positioned herself in front of me, I became serious.

Deadly serious.

There was circling, a kick to her shin, a punch to my jaw, and she was staked. Then came another one, snarling, and another after, and another after, until I stopped trying to keep count and began focusing on the battle entirely. Most of the times, my reactions were instinctive, and I'd find myself not knowing how I'd killed this or that Strigoi.

Janine, too, found herself surrounded by bodies too quickly. Those who had been captured hurried towards the sunlight as we fought.

Well, except Eddie Castile.

"Get out of here, Edward." Rose's mother ordered.

"I can help." He grunted, punching a female in the stomach.

"Out, Edward."

"No."

Janine staked her Strigoi and began pulling him outside.

And then, suddenly, dirt and rocks began falling on our heads as the exit caved in. I staked the Strigoi I'd been grappling with and looked around for a moment. There were seven of us, and ten Strigoi, but the unexpected event had left us trapped. We could try to crawl through a small opening, I realized, but that would make us easy pickings.

"Emil! Shit," I muttered, kicking a female off of me. Duke stepped in front of me so I could be free to inform the others through my mouthpiece. "Emil! Emil, can you hear me? There's been a cave in. We can't get out. You have to send people in to even things out. Two, preferably."

"On it." He answered. "Stay calm."

After that, the fighting continued, though we couldn't do much in the small space we had. Then three Strigoi turned – presumably to go after our backup – and Alberta managed to get her stake in one.

The tables were turned, then. Soon, only two Strigoi were left, and Alberta yelled for everyone to get the Hell out.

"Rose!"

Distracted, the female in front of me lifted her eyes. In and out went my stake. I focused on the last one left, a male, and went at him. Desperation had made me stronger – because Rose, Rose was _in here_ with him, breathing the same air, and no one was going to touch her.

No one.

I finished the bastard and promptly crawled out into the other side of the cave. Rose gave me a relieved look. I had, apparently, been the last to leave.

Our small group hurried forwards, only to find Janine – who had been on the other side of the rubble – and a Moroi trying to dispose of three Strigoi. Duke and Alan each got one, and Janine had her stake inside the other within seconds.

"That's it for this group, but I think there are more here than we thought. I think they left some behind when they went to attack the school. The rest of our people—that survived—have already made it out." She panted.

"There are other branches in the cave." Alberta frowned. "Strigoi could be hiding in there."

"They could be. Some know they're overwhelmed and are just going to wait us out and escape later. Others may come after us."

Stephen asked, "What do we do? Finish them off? Or retreat?"

Alberta sighed. "We retreat. We got as many as we could, and the sun is dropping. We need to get back behind the wards."

With that, we began running. "Did Eddie get out?" Rose gasped beside me.

I nodded. "Yes. We had to practically force him out. He wanted to fight."

"I remember this curve." Janine informed us. "It's not much farther. We should see light soon."

And then, chaos. Seven Strigoi descended upon us, quickly eliminating Alan. "Start retreating!" Alberta shrieked.

All I could think was, _Shit, shit, shit_. Duke fell. Alberta, Celeste and I got three Strigoi. Janine and Stephen disposed of the other four, and we were running again, and then – and then –

Something slammed into me, so quickly it threw me off balance. Rose's face, bathed in purple light, blurred from the impact. And then we were on the ground, a blond man and I, kicking and tearing nails into flesh.

Teeth sunk into my neck. Vaguely, I heard Rose scream.

_Get up, get up, come on!_ Alayah urged. _Please. Dimitri, please, please, oh, God, get up. Please, please, no! No!_

Daemon, holding her hand, lifted his eyes to Heaven and prayed for strength.

Pushing, grunting, using all my strength but_ it was not enough_, I was not enough, and _Rose please stay out of here!_

As the world went black, I remembered my mother. Yeva. Karo, and Sonya, and Vicky. They had been my whole world for such a long time.

And, then, at last, came my beautiful Rose, grinning before me, saying words too sweet to make out.

Rose. Rose was safe. I had that much.

Desperate, Daemon grabbed Alayah's face and kissed her repeatedly, sobbing 'I love you' into her ear.

My eyes closed. _Rose_. Smell, touch, taste – she surrounded me completely, obliterating the pain. The memory of her kiss tingled on my lips.

_Rose. My Rose. _

I heard her, for the briefest moment, laughing.

"Rose." I whispered.

_I'm so sorry, love._

With one last, futile effort – because I had to try, for _her_ – I felt myself be pulled into the dark.

* * *

**"Few words are best when they can bring only pain." Sorry if this disappointed you. It's the best I can do.**


	13. Chapter 13

I woke without opening my eyes, knowing, deep down, I would not like what I saw. A long breath made fragrances assault my nose – grass, yes, and wet soil, but mostly the smell of foul things growing in darkness.

Someone fidgeted beside me, and for a moment I wondered why I could hear everything so clearly.

Then the memories came, prying my eyes open.

"Finally." I was in a grimy bathtub, of all things. The owner of the voice – a red-eyed woman – sat on the toilet lid. "It took so long for you to wake up, we were afraid Nathan had taken too much blood. Galina was furious."

"Galina?" I echoed, instantly recognizing the name of my old mentor.

The woman nodded. "Of course. Who else could have planned such an attack?"

Who else, indeed. Galina had always been brilliant – the best guardian, the best mentor, the best strategist. I had never, I remembered, liked her much. She was too vain, too arrogant.

That was, in the end, why she became Strigoi. She'd tried to be a hero during a fight in Prague.

"Who are you?" I asked at last, trying to stand, only to fall back down. The dark-haired woman smiled.

"My identity is irrelevant. What matters is that you feed, and soon." She offered me her hand. "You are weak now, of course – everyone is, when they have just awakened – but Galina expects you to be fully adapted to your new life as soon as possible."

The woman pulled me upwards. I struggled to stay balanced.

"Come. Can't you smell it? Your breakfast is right behind this door." She informed me, turning the knob and tugging me into a dark hallway. A large, sleeping man lay on the floor. "Well? What are you waiting for? Go ahead."

I closed my eyes and inhaled, savoring the scent of wet life before me. Slowly, I let myself fall on my knees beside my victim. Guided by my instincts, my fangs quickly found his pale, alluring throat.

It was sensual, like a mystery beckoning me forward. The Moroi jolted out of unconsciousness as I sucked eagerly, wanting – needing – more blood. Slowly, the man's ecstatic gaze became vacant. His life had been poured into me. Satisfied, I released his shirt, letting him fall to the floor with a thud.

"You've made a mess of yourself." The red eyes bored into mine. I looked down. If I hadn't been dirty before, I was then. Blood was spattered all over my clothes, though most was on the walls.

"I need more." I croaked, digging my fingers into the Moroi's neck to erase the bite marks.

"What you need," She informed me, "is to learn to control the desire. You may have one more."

I hissed.

"One more." She repeated firmly. "Then we leave."

O0o0O

The man – it had to be a man, and a tall one, since they had more blood – looked behind him nervously as he headed to his car. Humans were, I then learned, smart enough to know when they were in danger, but too stupid to give in to their instincts and run.

Then again, running wouldn't have made the slightest difference, anyway.

Darting behind a Jeep, I noticed the woman scrutinizing me from below the Target's roof. She was really quite beautiful, with the way her dark hair made her pale skin stand out. I _had_ always had a thing for dark hair, preferably long…

The woman tapped her foot impatiently. Making sure no one was nearby, I lunged at the man, fangs at his throat in an instant.

The only sound was that of his keys falling on wet asphalt.

I finished quickly, though I would have liked to take my time – draw it out. That would have, however, only displeased the woman, and as she was – if only for the moment – much more powerful than me, I decided it would be best to do as she wished. There would be time for a longer hunt later.

"Here." She handed me a clean set of clothes as I snapped my victim's neck and dumped him on the floor. "You can't be seen in such a state."

No one was within sight, so I changed right there, not caring what she saw. "What now?"

She picked up the keys. "Get in the car."

O0o0O

Staring at the world beyond the airport windows was odd. I knew it was night, yet I could see everything as clearly as if the sun still shone. Trees, people, signs – all were differently-colored shades of blue.

"You have two options." The woman – she still refused to tell me her name – said, heels clicking efficiently as she hurried to the counter. "You can either let me take you to Galina's estate and work for her there –"

"Or?"

"Or you can stay here and be nothing but one more Strigoi for the rest of eternity." She regarded me seriously. "You know Galina. You know how smart she has always been. The attack to Saint Vladimir's Academy was only the beginning. She has plans."

I raised an eyebrow. "Plans?"

She nodded. "Infallible plans. Plans that will let her destroy the Queen to establish a new government – one where Strigoi will rule over Moroi and feed from them openly instead of lurking in the shadows."

"That's insane." I said, swallowing the excess of saliva that was beginning to pool in my mouth. Too many people surrounded us. "How in the world does she propose to do all that?"

"If you don't come with me, you'll never find out."

"I'll have to think about it."

"Fair enough." She handed me a bag containing money and a passport. "I'll give you a day. If you're not at Moscow Airport by Sunday night – and remember, the flight is twenty hours long – I'm leaving without you."

With that, she pressed the stolen car keys into my hand and was gone.

O0o0O

After finding out the price of a plane ticket, I realized I'd been given just enough money to spend some days in a run-down motel. Of course, I could've just killed all the staff and kept my money, but that would just attract unwanted attention.

Once I'd secured a room, I headed out towards a deserted strip of highway, sans car. It was, after all, three in the morning – which meant I had roughly two hours until daylight came.

That was where I experimented. I uprooted trees with frightening ease, I could whizz past obstacles faster than a bullet. When I stumbled across an old woman's cottage, I immediately drained her.

As soon as the sky began getting lighter, however, I disappeared into my room. There, with the shabby blinds drawn against the sun, it was time to think.

I did not doubt that Galina was planning world domination, and I certainly did not doubt her ability to change society as a whole. But did I really want to get involved with something that could end my existence when it had just begun?

The answer was, obviously, yes. I wanted to make history. I wanted challenges, battles – the desire for peace I had felt before was gone. And though everything had changed, I had not forgotten my family. My previous love for them had vanished, but they were still important to me. Some ties, apparently, ran deeper than feelings. They would need protection from Galina, which would be easier to obtain from Russia.

Rose remained important, as well. I no longer valued her life – or anyone else's, for that matter – above mine, but I did feel a certain pull towards her, a longing for her deep in my stomach. When I remembered the events that had taken place in the cabin, I groaned. Yes, I still needed Rose. I… desired her.

But if Rose came near me, it would be in an attempt to kill me. She had promised that, a long time ago – and if I knew her at all, she would keep her word. Avoiding confrontation, I decided, was the wisest thing to do. If there was a guardian good enough to kill me, it was Rose. She had, after all, already done it once, during the field experience.

If I stayed in the United States, she would probably come across me, someday. But in Russia? Would she ever have reason enough to go there? I did not think so. And even if she did, my country was huge – which made the odds of her finding me next to zero.

Besides, I was sure that Galina would prove a great mentor once more, if only until I had more experience. Another plus was that she resided in my adored Russia. The land was beautiful, the buildings and language and people familiar. And if I ever wished to return to the US, I could wait until Rose was dead.

Rose, dead. I could not imagine that. The thought of making her a Strigoi briefly crossed my mind, but I refused to entertain the idea. She was stubborn, which meant she would turn only if under extreme duress, and even then it was possible that she would rather kill herself. No, the risk was too great.

My choice, then, was made. I sat on the bed and waited.

O0o0O

I bought my plane ticket as soon as Friday night fell. The flight would be long, so I had to leave as soon as I could. This meant stopping in Seattle first, and from there going on to my birthplace.

Travelling was, unsurprisingly, dull. I learned from my previous experience in the Missoula airport that restraining myself around such a large amount of humans was difficult if I had not fed well beforehand, so I quickly drained three waitresses that were smoking outside a Cheesecake Factory and two Walgreens employees. I made sure to mangle their bodies so the bite marks would go undetected.

Then, I was finally in Moscow Airport, and dawn was too near for my liking. Again, I found a motel to spend the whole of Sunday watching lousy TV until night arrived.

Finally, it was time. The woman found me almost instantly. "I knew you would come."

I did not reply.

O0o0O

Galina's mansion stood on the outsides of Novosibirsk, the lights of the city visible from the grounds. A huge maze surrounded the imposing stone building, and the woman – who during the ride had let me know that her name was Lucia – led me through it confidently.

We used an elevator, crossed hallway after hallway, until at last, we were in the library. Lucia opened the door to reveal what had to be thousands of shelves filled with books. Galina sat on an armchair.

"Ah, Lucy. I see you've done your job well." She smiled, pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes.

"Yes, Mother." She nodded like one who was used to cold formality. Galina was, in many ways, a queen – and even a princess had to treat her superior with respect.

"Leave us." Lucia promptly swept out of the room. My former mentor motioned for me to sit.

"So, Dimitri. I suppose my daughter has told you everything about my little organization." She began.

"Not really."

Galina frowned. "Well, then, allow me to enlighten you. What we do is, essentially, bring pleasure to humans. Some of my employees are drug sellers, others are pimps – you get the idea. But that, of course, is only to gather funds for our real goal."

I nodded. "Lucia mentioned that you wanted to… overthrow Queen Tatiana?"

"Not yet." Galina stared at me intently. "First, I want to kill all the dhampirs."

* * *

**Hey, everyone! Thanks for the awesome reviews you all wrote! =)**

**As you can see, Dimka is now basically a cold and detached storyteller. Daemon and Alayah are gone, because they were only there to represent his inner turmoil – and he's no longer confused. I figure he still cares about his family and Rose, because, really, some ties run too deep to change when you do.**

**The plot will be, hopefully, surprising. Have faith, I've planned everything out. Can you guess why Galina wants to kill all the dhampirs?**

**Oh, and btw, I WILL WRITE ALL THE BOOKS.**

**Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

"You see," Galina went on. "The Moroi world is incredibly fragile, when you think of it. And in it, the royals are not as important as they imagine themselves to be. It's the dhampirs that are vital. Without them, without their protection –"

"Moroi society will fall apart." I finished. "Yes, I understand. But how do you propose to obliterate a whole race?"

"Think about it." She smiled. "I'm sure you will see it. After all, I've already begun."

I considered it carefully. "The attack to the Academy. That's it, isn't it? You want to attack the Academies."

"It's a little more complex than that." Galina admitted. "I'm training Strigoi to cooperate with one another, in fact, and in about five years I hope to have accomplished enough to attack ten different Academies from all over the world simultaneously."

"That will be difficult."

"But it can be accomplished."

I nodded. "Yes. Maybe. And what do I have to do with all this?"

Galina narrowed her eyes at me. "Well, I _do_ need a leader…"

o0O0o

Lucia was my appointed guide. I hadn't known Galina had a daughter, but on hindsight, the two did look rather similar.

"And this is your room." She said, nodding towards a closed door. "You can inspect it later. My mother wants me to show you the training field before you get settled."

We walked down flights of steps and winding hallways until we stepped into moonlit grass. Twenty Strigoi – male and female alike – were sparring against each other, supervised by the blond man that had turned me. Lucia followed my gaze.

"That is Nathan. He is the one who turned you."

"I know." I examined him carefully. He was older than me, but only by a couple of years, and he had clearly been a human when turned, which meant there was no way he could have as extensive a knowledge of fighting as I did. Soon, I would be able to overpower him easily – but that would probably displease Galina, who was far too strong for me at the moment, as was her daughter. I would have to beware of those two, and do my best to remain in their favor.

I turned to Lucia. "Should he really be instructing the others? Wouldn't a dhampir be better suited for the task?"

She shook her head. "He is only watching to make sure that they do not kill one another. We do not want the young ones to become stronger than us, after all. Teaching them to fight properly would be… unwise."

"True, but they will be easily beaten in battle unless they receive proper instruction." I pointed.

"They will not be able to hold their own against a dhampir that was turned Strigoi, true, but they surpass all others, even now." Lucia regarded me carefully. "Would you care to try and see if you can hold your own against them? We have a couple of spare minutes."

"Ah, yes." My smile was wide enough to show my fangs.

"Very well, then. Tanya!" She called, prompting a red-headed woman to come hurrying up to us. "This is Dimitri. Let's see if you can incapacitate him."

Tanya nodded, then lunged at me. I stepped out of her way, then deflected a kick and delivered a punch to her nose that left her on the ground. I cocked an eyebrow at Lucia, who dismissed the woman with a wave of her hand.

"Please tell me she is not your best fighter." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"She is, but she is only weeks old. They all are. Time will do much to improve them."

I shrugged. "I hope you are right, because if not, Galina's plan is doomed."

Ignoring my comment, Lucia nodded towards Nathan. "You should meet him. As the one who awakened you, he is your superior."

I looked him over one more time. "I could kill him too easily for that."

This time, she was the one who shrugged. "Perhaps so, but my mother remains inflexible about one thing: etiquette. And she is right, because it is the one thing that keeps us all from destroying each other."

"Your mother has always been a smart woman." I admitted.

"So you will let me introduce you, then?" I nodded, though I really had no choice in the matter. "Excellent. Nathan, come here for a second."

The blonde darted between partners until he was standing before us, and he bowed to Lucia and shook my hand. "Belikov. Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine." I answered, hating that I must show deference to this weakling because of Galina's rules. He may have given me a stronger, altogether better body, and immortality – but he was also the man that has condemned me to go through life yearning for Rose, and that, I could never forgive.

We lingered in the field until the closeness of dawn chased us inside, and Lucia accompanied me to my room, even though my memory was too good for me to forget the way.

"Goodbye, then, Dimitri." She said, unfailingly polite, even though she was my superior and could treat me like a dog if she wished. She began to leave, but I caught her arm to hold her back before she could disappear into a maze of hallways.

"Lucia." It was only her name, but it was enough for her to turn to face me once more, unconsciously graceful.

I do not know how it happened, but we crashed against each other with the sound of thunder cracking through the air. Her lips fell upon mine, hot against stone flesh, and she was not Rose, but she was enough. So I pulled dark hair and tore off clothes again, and the bed was wrecked under our combined force. With Lucia, I was neither gentle nor loving. I took her like a desperate man, and we were a hurricane in our passion, but I was shocked to find that stars did not explode against my eyelids, and I was not quivering with pleasure when we finish and lay back next to each other, utterly silent.

_Something is missing_, I told myself, remembering an altogether different kind of dark hair. _And I know exactly what it is._

But she did not care, and I was too broken care, so who was going to stop us? And we went on in the same fashion all day, until she put on her clothes and left to do her duty, and I was left with the memories that I had been trying to escape.

* * *

**Hi, everyone! This took a while. Sorry! Blame school =)**

**As for Lucia - he's EVIL, remember? So, trust me.**

**Shadow Kiss will be over shortly, so prepare for more surprises and review!**

**Love, Lissie.**

**PS - LuciaHathaway: I try to update every week, usually on Saturdays or Sundays. **

**Basic Bookworm: Every book will be in DPOV, I swear. And I will write the whole series, so don't worry.**


	15. LAST

At Galina's estate, time went by uneventfully. I pored over lists of names to determine which could be helpful additions to our little army, hunted, and sparred with Lucia – something that invariably led to me fucking her nearly senseless. The yearning for a different sort of dark hair grew steadily stronger, until I wanted to murder Nathan in an attempt to push Rose from my mind.

Finally, the time came, and I was ready. I knew that hunting could be a pleasure, but I had not had enough time to draw it out – or even enjoy it.

I had been stalking the man every time I went out to get something to eat. He was the perfect victim – tall, and athletic, which meant he would put up a fight, however minimal.

I crouched in front of the man's house, waiting until there were no cars on the street. As soon as it was deserted, I darted up to his room, hidden in shadows. My victim was sleeping peacefully, his face tinged with an innocence I had lately begun to despise. Lips curling into a sneer, I clamped a hand over his mouth and looked into his terrified eyes.

"I am going to set you down on the field beside this house, and you have three minutes to run. Three minutes. Scream, and I'll kill you before you can even gurgle. Do you understand what I am telling you?" I asked, showing him my fangs.

The man nodded. Carefully, I removed my hand from his lips. Silence. Pleased, I picked him up and jumped out the window. Leading him to the left, I whispered, "Three minutes," and let him go.

He was running for his life a second afterwards. I took out my watch and stared at the handle impatiently, willing it to go by faster. Soon, my victim was out of sight. I growled.

_2:59… 3:00_

I shot off, deadly and quick as a bullet, in the direction of the smell – that succulent, appealing, smell that seemed to cover anything with blood inside it. Catching up to the man was frightfully easy. He dared a look behind him and began to gasp out pleas.

I grinned as I snapped his neck, sucked him dry, and left a carmine rose in his mouth for the police to find.

OOOOO

I didn't plan to become addicted to the game. I _did_ plan for the police to think there was a serial killer in town, yes, but that was just for fun. The game, though – the rushed, invigorating game – had become the only interesting activity in my soon-dull life. Even fucking Lucia didn't give me a lot of pleasure anymore, it was just another routine I had to go through to remain alive.

Strangely, the game never sated my thirst – it actually left me worse off than before.

So I stopped hunting men and started hunting dark haired, dark eyed, oddly haunting women, mainly prostitutes from the bad side of town. Those didn't scream so much.

Then, at sunset, when Lucia left and I had a few moments alone, I remembered Rose. It was really extremely odd – I thought about things so coldly, so analytically, like I was watching someone else's life. How, then, could I still miss her so bad I wanted to rip up my insides?

No explanation, came, and I was quick to put her out of my mind – much like I did every other unpleasant subject.

I actually thought I would spend the rest of my existence without her.

How very idiotic of me.

* * *

**This last chapter was hard. Mainly because I have school, debate class, french, math tutroing and the CPT coming soon, not to mention a script for a film project, two charities, and a state contest. So, Rose is coming! The new story will be called _The Hunting Games_. Look for it soon!**

**I just wanted to thank all of you for sticking with me through week-long pauses between updates. You don't know how touched I am when I get a particularly nice comment. And some people have been here for me since the first story was posted! SO, really, thank you very much, guys. You're the ones who made this story what it is today. This book may be over, but BP is on its way, so I'm not as sad as I would be if this was definite.**

**BTW, my bday is tomorrow (sept 30) so review? PLEASE? And tell me which of my stories (Loving Little Rose, Mentory Schizophrenia or Dead Man's Blues) you liked best and WHY!**

**Lizzy**

**PD. If anyone here has taken the CPT, can they tell me whether it's very hard? I'm really nervous!**


	16. HUNTING GAMES

**_The Hunting Games_**** is up! So, go, check it out, and REVIEW, for God's sake!**


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